Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Why?

The big questions in life still stifle me.

They hold me back from completely trusting in the One I cannot see.

I know He is there to carry us through, but why has this happened? What did we do?

There is pain all around us. Children dying of cancer, senseless shootings and more sadness and despair than I remember ever seeing. What is becoming of the world around me? And why doesn't He just make it all go away?

I believe that this the biggest obstacle I have in my journey into a deeper relationship with my Heavenly Father. How can He watch while His loved ones perish?

But as I strive to chase after Him harder, to get to know Him better I am amazed at what I find. I find glimpses of His work all around. His perfect will in the midst of chaos. And I am brought to my knees.

"Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know." Jeremiah 33:3

Saturday, June 20, 2009

The Truth

FEAR

AKA False Evidence Appearing Real

Fear can paralyze a person from doing just about everything. Years ago, I was almost to the point of being afraid to go out of the house. I was scared of everything. I knew I could not live the rest of my life that way. Thank God I had a great support system to help me through my anxieties and fears.

I am only human and because of that I still do fear things at times. I worry about a lot of nothing....and a lot of everything that is beyond my control. But step by step it is getting easier to give it over to God. One of the big things that I have struggled with from time to time is the thought of death. Not only for me but my loved ones. I know I will be in a better place, however, I would worry about how I was going to "meet my maker" so to say. Like I have control over that!

Anyway, I have been trying to tackle some subjects that have me puzzled from time to time. I have been asking God to work with me and help me gain some wisdom and understanding in areas that have been holding me back from getting closer to Him.

One thing I am aware of recently is that if I am focusing on my fears, insecurities and anxieties...I am not focusing on HIM.

WHAMMO!

I mean I knew that in my head but its taken a while for my heart to catch up. Everything that causes me to fear is really something that is truly false but appears real.

How do I conteract that? By going to the TRUTH. And you know what I am finding out?

The source of that TRUTH has never lied to me. Ever.

Yesterday while spending sometime in the glorious TRUTH I came across a verse that spoke volumes to my heart.

"Since the children have flesh and blood, he too shared in their humanity so that by His death he might destroy him who holds the power to death-that is the devil- and free all those who all their lives were held in slavery by their fear of death." Hebrews 2:14-15 (NIV)

Or as Eugene Peterson would translate:

"Since the children are made of flesh and blood, its logical that the Savior took on flesh and blood in order to rescue them by his death. By embracing death, taking it into himself, he destroyed the devils hold on death and freed all who cower through life, scared to death of death."

There is no reason to walk around and cowering down to life. I am looking up...up to the one who gave me this beautiful life...this abundant life.

Trusting in the TRUTH with my heart while my head lets go of the fear that holds me back from enjoying the life he so graciously gave me.....

Thursday, June 18, 2009

Sweet Words # 29

I have a confession to make.

I have a hard time some days making sense of my heavenly Fathers words to me. I read verses that just seem to go over my head and make my mind spin. Sometimes I feel like his words aren't even for me.....they are for everyone else but me. I mean, how could he love me and want the best for me? He, above anyone at all, knows all my faults and insecurities, so how could he love me that much?

I get sidetracked way too easily lately. I sit down to read my bible and my mind goes crazy. Stirring with all the things I need to do or should be doing instead of sitting still. It always seems that I feel I need to get everything done first and then I will be able to focus on His Word. But what has been happening is I become too tired by the time I get those things done and I end up falling asleep before I even open up the pages of His Word. How embarrassing! After all he has done for me and here I have trouble fitting Him into my hectic life. EEK!

So, Him and I had a one on one conversation last night. It went something like this....

Me: Ok, Lord. I am going to open your book of wisdom and I really need your help. Please let me understand what you want me to get out of it tonight.

HIM: I will show you but will you take it in? Will you listen? Will you seek it earnestly or are you going through the motions?

Me: Ouch!

With that, I turned to Proverbs Chapter 2:1-5. And it became clearer to me than it has ever been...

"My Son, if you accept my words and store up commands within you, turning your ear to wisdom and applying your heart to understanding and if you call out for insight and cry loud for understanding and if you look for it as for silver and search for it as hidden treasure- then you will understand the fear of the Lord and find the knowledge of God."

Once again I am amazed at how well he knows my heart. I tend to not apply myself....I just want things to be easy. Here I see that I have to apply my heart and my mind and earnestly seek Him in a new way. I have to "chase" Him if you will, instead of letting Him "chase" after me.

So, today is a new day! A new way to look at Him and His words for you and me. Lets seek after them as if we are searching for hidden treasure~ I know what we will find will be more valuable than gold!

Thank you, Lord, for your word, for your wisdom and your love. It is you that I long to please today and everday.....help me make you priority # 1. Amen

**Please please please keep Melissa Taylor's mother (Becky Nunn) in your prayers today as she is undergoing surgery. Click here to read more of her story... http://melissataylorp31.blogspot.com/

Thanks!


Tuesday, June 9, 2009

For the love of lavender

As I was leaving my house yesterday, I was greeted by the sweet smell of lavender welcoming me to a new day. I smiled.

Heaven Scent.

Lavender has become one of my favorite plants. It intrigues me.

It gives off a fragrance that makes me smile. Lightens my load. Although it emits a sweet scent on its own-its fragrance becomes so much sweeter and overwhelming when it is touched.

How ironic.

I am so much sweeter when I am touched by Him and His Word. I have been touched by my Savior...does it show?

For we are a fragrance of Christ to God among those who are being saved and among those who are perishing~2 Corinthians 2:15

Can others scents his sweet fragrance all around me? Do I lighten their load?

Heaven Scent.

Bright, beautiful flowers emerge from plain, tall green spikes. They are connected to the stem that gives them life.

Abide in Me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself unless it abides in the vine, so neither can you unless you abide in Me. ~ John 15:4

I become brighter and more beautiful on the inside when I am connected to Him. Each moment I spend with Him...I am changing. Looking for Him in the ordinary.....everyday.

Yesterday He came out of my love for lavender.

Thank you, Lord for moments like this. Gratitude gift # 28

Truly Heaven Scent.

Friday, June 5, 2009

Thursdays- Gratitude gift # 27

Well Thursdays have become my favorite day of the week. It all started almost 3 years ago with this fantastic group of people.

This is when it all started. Each and every Thursday we have a group of 5-6 teenaged gals who bombard our house to eat dinner with us and kick our butts in games all night. If you have read yesterdays post you will know that these gals hold a very special place in my heart that no one else will ever be able to fill. These gals are between the ages of 18-21 (almost) and they spend almost every Thursday with us just hanging out and being crazy.

I cannot imagine my life without them and I thank God each day for every one of them! ;)

First camping trip this season!

Dice Night

Thursday, June 4, 2009

Gift of Friends- Gratitude Gift #26

Twenty three years ago, I started working at a 1-hour photo lab in the heart of Hershey. Who would have thought that working in the the sweetest place on earth would lead me into a family of friends that I will forever be tied to. My sister introduced me to the owners of the lab, Kaye and Eric and at 14 I began working part time for them while going to school. They had a son, David, who was about 1 at the time...he was full of firecrackers and giggles - I can still hear his deep giggle when he would be tickled under his chin. A few years later, their daughter Trish was born. Both children were no strangers to the photo lab. I still remember running photos through the machines while Trish was hanging from my hip. They were there everyday when I would go in to work, and I would pick them up and take them for slushy's at Turkey Hill. They would play in the back until it was time for them to go home...and then we would do it all over again the next day. We experienced many things together.....chicken pox, a robbery, getting over a Santa phobia, and too many others to mention. As the years rolled by, we became more and more like family. I got to see their sports activities and I got to know their friends. They saw me grow up and get married. I worked for Kaye and Eric for 14 years until they made the tough decision of shutting down the lab. This was a hard transition to deal with at first, but in the end it was the best decision they could make. I worked a few other places and for about 2 years we sort of parted ways. Then one day I was talking to Kaye on the phone and she ended up helping me get a job with her at Food Distributor in our area. From the day I started working with her again - it was like we never had lost touch.

We all started camping together and the kids started bringing their friends. Before you know it we had over six families, camping and vacationing together over the last 9 years. David is now almost 21 and Trisha is 18 and graduating today. These kids and their group of friends are like the children Shannon (my hubby) and I never had. While I am so happy that they have grown up to be such wonderful young adults my heart is sad at the same time to see all these wonderful years go by in the blink of an eye.

I am and always will be, forever grateful to Kaye and Eric for allowing me to be a part of their lives and family and for creating this circle of friends that now I hold so dear to my heart.

Wednesday, June 3, 2009

Weeding

We recently got a shed that we are making into a potting shed/koi pond supply shed. Last night I began landscaping around the shed and I had loved every moment of it. This is one of my favorite things to do in the world. I love the look of a freshly planted garden. Fresh dirt, weed free garden~what more could a gal ask for? Maybe for it to stay that way- FOREVER! (lol).

As I was planting I was reminded how much gardening is like our faith journey. Once we are saved, we are fresh, new, weed-free and ready to grow and flourish. However, if we leave our faith unattended we start to notice little weeds invading our freshly planted garden. Doubt and fear start to choke out trust and faith. Before we know it- we can't even see the gardens beauty anymore...it just looks like a bed of thistles and overgrown ivy. If we don't spend time daily in the garden and tend to the weeds before we know it- the job becomes too overwhelming.

How true this is for me in regards to my faith journey. I become overwhelmed some days, too busy to take the time for weed prevention (spending time in God's Word). Before I know it- I feel ugly, useless, and fearful...and the list goes on.

But isn't it funny how one little verse can pull a stem of fear, a thistle of anxiety and turn it into a glimpse of hope and joy? He is the best gardener of all time and I long to be just like Him.

Tuesday, June 2, 2009

Tuesday, Beautiful Tuesday

24. A morning shower followed by bright rays of sunshine...what a great way to start the day! I have so many things to be thankful for so its time I focus on them.

When I started this blog I really wanted to use it as an outlet and a journal per se. I used to love to write and to put pen to paper and get all my feelings out. I thought this would be one way of getting my thoughts out and worked through. What I didn't realize is how many beautiful people I would meet on this journey.

I have met some really inspiring, compassionate people that move me to tears as well as make me laugh. I would have never had the chance of meeting them had it not been for this bloggy world. It is so nice to know that when you are going through a "valley" or a "storm" of some sort, others are praying you through it- that is so amazing to me!

Lately, I have been focusing a little too much on the negative and too little on the positive. That is going to change. Training myself to stand on the promises of God, instead of my worries and fears has always been a struggle for me but I know it doesn't have to be. I know God has plans for me- I do not need to know what they are- I just have to be open to His leading and that is what I plan on doing.

25. So, thanks to those of you who have commented and emailed me - just know that God has used you in a big way. Your encouraging words have brightened some really dreary days and I am so thankful!


"Fix your thoughts on what is true and honorable and right. Think about things that are pure and lovely and admirable." Philippians 4:8