Seasons of Change

Its funny how August has slipped in so quickly and so quietly. I cannot believe that summer is coming to an end when I hardly noticed its arrival. The older I get the faster the seasons seem come and go and before we know it our own seasons will come to an end.

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There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under heaven:
a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,

a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,

a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,

a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain,

a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,

a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,

a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace.
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Seasons are not easy at times. Its hard letting go of the past and waiting for the next season to roll around. One thing that I have learned though, is how important it is to cherish the season your in and look for the good in it all.

Hubby and I are experiencing a change of season is our own life. This time is a season that has lasted for 8 years straight. The Lord is clearly directing us to step back and regroup. For the last 8 years we have led the youth at our church and we have come to know so many teens as our own. We finally feel its time to step back and watch them fly. Its time for someone new to step in and let us step back, search our hearts and look for the Lord's leading on what to do next. We have been so blessed to be a part of of a great group of childrens lives and I know that they have taught me much more than I probably taught them. Kids are funny like that.

In spite of feeling the lead to step back I know I will miss this season, for it has been all too familiar to me for quite sometime. Possibly that is the problem. When I become too familiar with something I tend to stay in my box. So, in order to move forward....I look back and count the blessings that this season has gleened. Life doesn't get any sweeter especially when your list includes everday blessings that the Lord puts in front of us:

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~the privilege of walking beside so many of the young adults in our church and watching them as they find their groove with their Savior

~knowing that they have taught me so much more than I have taught them

~watching as the post college young adults (that were once in our youth group) take on leadership roles such as starting their very own 20-30 age group

~a funky caterpillar that is the wierdest thing I have ever seen.




~church picnics filled with food and fun

~weed free flower beds

~summer rains that quench thirsty plants

~my real living breathing miracle

~friends who send prayers heavenward for my fear filled doctor visits

~fresh cut sunshine in colorful vases



I pray that whatever season you may be in right now, you stop and take a minute to thank God for each one. Cherish them ....because when this season is over....you can't get it back.

If you haven't listed your blessings lately...won't you consider starting? Join the community here.

My Living Breathing Miracle

A little bit over a week ago(Aug 5th) Shannon (my hubby) and I hit our 10 year mark.

Wow. Ten Years.

I thank God for every one of those seconds, minutes, hours, days, months and years that we have spent together. Grant it...they were not always rosy but every one of them were essential in our journey to where and who we are today. May I never take one second of our time together for granted......

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For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11

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Shannon was a miracle baby. He was born without a pulmonary artery and valve. When he was born his parents were told to "take him home and let him die in his mothers arms." His parents flew him to Michigan to meet with specialist. No one locally could even understand what was going on in his little body. After finding out what they were up against they flew back home to try to find out what the next step would be. At the age of 5 months, Shannon was the first person (ever) to have heart surgery at The Hershey Medical Center let alone the first pediatric patient to have heart surgery. A doctor (Dr. Walthausen) took a chance and had a Waterston shunt put in. At age 5, they operated again and placed a pigs valve in his heart to help control the flow of blood to his heart. Then finally at age 13 they decided that pig's valve was not needed so they took it out. Shannon was the first person (ever) to have heart surgery at The Hershey Medical Center let alone the first pediatric patient to have heart surgery. That is amazing in itself. Shannon will turn 40 this year...just imagine if his parents would have just took him home to die??!!

His miracles didn't end there. When he was 6 he fell out of a moving vehicle head first, during his rebellious years he totaled a car and finally at the age of 17 he was hit by a drunk driver head on. He flew through his windshield and into the windshield of the person who hit him. Broke both his knee caps and smashed his larynx. Police said they can't believe he lived. When I look at all he has been through I can't believe he is still alive now.

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But God can. I truly believe that God gave me this man as a living, walking, breathing miracle to remind me of His never ending love for all of His children. Our ways are not His ways...and for that I am thankful!
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Thank you Lord for blessing me with a husband who is a daily reminder that you do indeed still work miracles!

Not About Me

As I told you before, I am a procrastinator. So, much so that it leads to outright disobedience at times. Its funny how deep down I really want to accomplish a whole list of things that need done in a days time. However, when the pedal hits the metal I freak out and don’t even know where to start. Therefore, I don’t start and this is how I fall behind in everything I do.

Take for instance the “reading through the bible in a year” study that I intended to follow through with this year. It started January 1st 2010 and I did great until May. Then I fell off the wagon and got too overwhelmed when I fell behind. This is the second year in a row that I failed epically and I am beginning to think maybe I am just not disciplined enough to tackle that right now in my life. So, I have decided to step back and regroup. Now, I start by taking a minute to pray before I even open the Word. I pray that the Lord allows me to see with my spiritual senses what He is trying to get across to me. Sometimes I stay on the same passage for more than a day. Other times I keep moving on.

Over the last month or so I have been reading (and rereading) A.W. Tozers book titled “The Pursuit of God”. I have come to realize that my problem is very simple indeed. There is too much of me and not enough of Him. With all my heart, I want to be faithful in serving Him in my life. However, I let “me”get in the way. Tozer has a way of saying things that make one think….and think hard.

In the first chapter he talks about Prevenient Grace. Something I never really gave much thought to before. I mean I know it is by grace that we are saved…it’s a gift. But I never really thought about Previenient Grace which is defined “that before man can seek God, God must first have sought man.”

As I look up John 6:44 I am humbled once again. Why do I always end up thinking that I had a hand in this pursuit of God? Yes, it’s my choice to keep pursuing Him, but He is the initiator of that desire that rises up within me. He is the one that started pursuing me and it makes me long to know Him more deeply.

This is one more reminder that my life is no longer about me…..it needs to be all about HIM! Procrastinator or not …he will get through to this thick headed blubbering idiot…one way or the other! I just pray it won’t take me 40 years in the wilderness to get there…….

Blessings,
Julie

The Rock

Please excuse my absence here the last month or so. I have had a lot on my mind but I find that when I go to type them out...there are just no words. My mind becomes like my facial expressions at times....blank.

The last few weeks I have been sorting out some things, and taking time to step back and "see" where the Lord wants to take me next. I have been feeling like I am on a treadmill....I do a lot of walking I just do not get anywhere. I think I am coming out on the other side of this fog now. Perhaps I just have needed a change of attitude. Perhaps I have just needed a change of perspective. Perhaps I just needed more of Him and less of me. Yes, that is it. Loud and clear.
I struggle with anxiety issues over stupid things. If I would list them all here, one of you would probably suggest I be admitted somewhere for help. They range from a fear of doctors all the way to what-ifing my life away. Most of the time my worries involve me worrying about my family and loved ones. I worry about the day that I will no longer be able to put my arms around them physically. I worry how I will function without my parents when they are gone from earth. I worry about death. Lately, though, my biggest fear is looking back on my life and finding out that I did not actually live. Finding that even though I lived (physically) I did not live for my Jesus. At the end of the road…did I do enough for Him to greet me and say, “Well done…my good and faithful servant”?

So, I have been taking some time, making some big decisions and learning to move forward and trust Him for the outcome.

With all that being said…another thing you may not know is that I am a procrastinator. Not just with household chores but with all aspects of my life. I will wait until the very last minute to move forward with something. This includes gentle nudgings from my Savior. So when he nudges and I don’t follow through…He nudges harder. As I look back on the last month or so I no longer see it as me being a procrastinator…I see it now as me being disobedient. That is one word I do not like. I have never liked it and I probably will never ever like it. Even as a young little girl…I was too afraid of disappointing my parents. To me seeing disappointment in their eyes hurt more than if they would have just paddled my behind. That being said they have always shown me (by example) my Heavenly Fathers love for me. They have always loved me unconditionally and forgiven me when I had gone astray. To know that my Heavenly Father loves me this way (even much more) leaves me speechless and feeling undeserving at times. Let me rephrase that… I am undeserving but His sacrifice would be in vain if I refuse to drag myself up from the muck and the mire and watch the world pass me by. Instead of complaining about a problem I want to be the one searching for a positive solution. I want to be the one who has her feet planted firmly on the Rock.

Psalm 18:1-3
I love you, O LORD, my strength. The LORD is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer; my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge. He is my shield and the horn [a] of my salvation, my stronghold. I call to the LORD, who is worthy of praise,and I am saved from my enemies.