Yahweh, a Cross & A Dove

I run out the door and jump into my car this morning. It always seems I am running behind. Morning comes too quick some days and I find it hard to get out of bed and start the day. I start the day by pushing the “ugh’s” and the “I don’t wanna’s” out of my mind so that I can get my body motivated. Its Wednesday.

Another day. Another dollar.

I feel rushed as usual…I will most certainly be late if I don’t hit the lights through town just right.

I pull out of the driveway and my mind immediately tries to overcome my thoughts with a mental to do list. The panic tries to rush in. I take a deep breath. The change in season, for some reason, always seems to send me back to a few years ago. A time in my life when I did not want to leave the house at all...grocery stores made me hyperventilate if I had to wait in line…and driving…well I won’t even go there. I have dealt with anxiety and panic attacks for most of my life. Up until about 8 years ago…they controlled me. Then I figured out…I could control them. It’s not always easy but I have learned to manage them. So, as my fears and worries tried to creep in on me this morning I did the one thing that I know chases them away. I take a deep breath and I say out loud:

“But David found strength in the Lord…and so do I !” (1 Samuel 30:6b)(my addition)

I grab my Ipod and turn on my current favorite song “Bless the Lord”. I sing out at the top of my lungs and I feel better. Letting the worries out and filling that space with His praises. Before I know it I am pulling off the highway and down the road to the office where I spend my days. I look up as I am singing and I can’t believe whats in front of me.



A reminder of the cross, a reminder that Yahweh died on that cross, and a reminder of the peace it brings to me because of the sacrifice He made. Can you see them?

I stop to take it in and capture a picture. A reminder that I can look at throughout the day to keep the worries at bay. Sure, I was a few minutes late but …it was soo worth it!

“I will worship you, I will Bless your name forever!
I will worship you…Bless the Lord, O my Soul, BLESS THE LORD!”


**My friend Jennifer over at Getting Down with Jesus talks much about finding Yahweh and God reminders in the everyday. She is such an encouragement…so stop over and be blessed. Then go out and find some of your own!

Savor the Autumn

Evening comes early lately and I feel like my internal clock is beckoning me to slow down and savor every moment of this autumn love. To store it up for those winter months that are cold and chilly. Savor nights by the campfire soaking in the warmth, while inhaling the crisp air around me. Watching the sun set across the field out back and wondering how much more beautiful heaven will be. Perhaps he offers this free preview to keep my eyes on Him. Just a smidge of heaven on earth, right here, right now meeting me in my own back yard.

Its funny how these changes in the seasons can bring about a soul change. A stirring under the surface. The ripples that come from me stepping forward into an abyss that I fully don't understand. The ripples of change surround me and I find myself feeling a little twisted on the inside. Missing the routine and what used to be, I stand still. I want to go back. Knowing in my heart that that is not where He wants me right now. He bids me to wait. He asks me to trust, and so I will savor this Autumn...on the outside and the inside.

Happy Birthday, Dear Hubby

Tomorrow (Saturday Oct 16th) my miracle man turns 40!

I thank God everyday for you. And I can't wait to see where He takes us in the next 40 years!

I love you! Even when you look like the ocean spray cranberry ninja fruit guy!

Sometimes words......

don't come easy.....



and that is when God provides



the perfect opportunity



to be still



and reflect on his goodness.....

Seasons of Change

Its funny how August has slipped in so quickly and so quietly. I cannot believe that summer is coming to an end when I hardly noticed its arrival. The older I get the faster the seasons seem come and go and before we know it our own seasons will come to an end.

:::
There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under heaven:
a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,

a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,

a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,

a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain,

a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,

a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,

a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace.
:::

Seasons are not easy at times. Its hard letting go of the past and waiting for the next season to roll around. One thing that I have learned though, is how important it is to cherish the season your in and look for the good in it all.

Hubby and I are experiencing a change of season is our own life. This time is a season that has lasted for 8 years straight. The Lord is clearly directing us to step back and regroup. For the last 8 years we have led the youth at our church and we have come to know so many teens as our own. We finally feel its time to step back and watch them fly. Its time for someone new to step in and let us step back, search our hearts and look for the Lord's leading on what to do next. We have been so blessed to be a part of of a great group of childrens lives and I know that they have taught me much more than I probably taught them. Kids are funny like that.

In spite of feeling the lead to step back I know I will miss this season, for it has been all too familiar to me for quite sometime. Possibly that is the problem. When I become too familiar with something I tend to stay in my box. So, in order to move forward....I look back and count the blessings that this season has gleened. Life doesn't get any sweeter especially when your list includes everday blessings that the Lord puts in front of us:

206-217

~the privilege of walking beside so many of the young adults in our church and watching them as they find their groove with their Savior

~knowing that they have taught me so much more than I have taught them

~watching as the post college young adults (that were once in our youth group) take on leadership roles such as starting their very own 20-30 age group

~a funky caterpillar that is the wierdest thing I have ever seen.




~church picnics filled with food and fun

~weed free flower beds

~summer rains that quench thirsty plants

~my real living breathing miracle

~friends who send prayers heavenward for my fear filled doctor visits

~fresh cut sunshine in colorful vases



I pray that whatever season you may be in right now, you stop and take a minute to thank God for each one. Cherish them ....because when this season is over....you can't get it back.

If you haven't listed your blessings lately...won't you consider starting? Join the community here.

My Living Breathing Miracle

A little bit over a week ago(Aug 5th) Shannon (my hubby) and I hit our 10 year mark.

Wow. Ten Years.

I thank God for every one of those seconds, minutes, hours, days, months and years that we have spent together. Grant it...they were not always rosy but every one of them were essential in our journey to where and who we are today. May I never take one second of our time together for granted......

::
For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11

::

Shannon was a miracle baby. He was born without a pulmonary artery and valve. When he was born his parents were told to "take him home and let him die in his mothers arms." His parents flew him to Michigan to meet with specialist. No one locally could even understand what was going on in his little body. After finding out what they were up against they flew back home to try to find out what the next step would be. At the age of 5 months, Shannon was the first person (ever) to have heart surgery at The Hershey Medical Center let alone the first pediatric patient to have heart surgery. A doctor (Dr. Walthausen) took a chance and had a Waterston shunt put in. At age 5, they operated again and placed a pigs valve in his heart to help control the flow of blood to his heart. Then finally at age 13 they decided that pig's valve was not needed so they took it out. Shannon was the first person (ever) to have heart surgery at The Hershey Medical Center let alone the first pediatric patient to have heart surgery. That is amazing in itself. Shannon will turn 40 this year...just imagine if his parents would have just took him home to die??!!

His miracles didn't end there. When he was 6 he fell out of a moving vehicle head first, during his rebellious years he totaled a car and finally at the age of 17 he was hit by a drunk driver head on. He flew through his windshield and into the windshield of the person who hit him. Broke both his knee caps and smashed his larynx. Police said they can't believe he lived. When I look at all he has been through I can't believe he is still alive now.

::
But God can. I truly believe that God gave me this man as a living, walking, breathing miracle to remind me of His never ending love for all of His children. Our ways are not His ways...and for that I am thankful!
::

Thank you Lord for blessing me with a husband who is a daily reminder that you do indeed still work miracles!

Not About Me

As I told you before, I am a procrastinator. So, much so that it leads to outright disobedience at times. Its funny how deep down I really want to accomplish a whole list of things that need done in a days time. However, when the pedal hits the metal I freak out and don’t even know where to start. Therefore, I don’t start and this is how I fall behind in everything I do.

Take for instance the “reading through the bible in a year” study that I intended to follow through with this year. It started January 1st 2010 and I did great until May. Then I fell off the wagon and got too overwhelmed when I fell behind. This is the second year in a row that I failed epically and I am beginning to think maybe I am just not disciplined enough to tackle that right now in my life. So, I have decided to step back and regroup. Now, I start by taking a minute to pray before I even open the Word. I pray that the Lord allows me to see with my spiritual senses what He is trying to get across to me. Sometimes I stay on the same passage for more than a day. Other times I keep moving on.

Over the last month or so I have been reading (and rereading) A.W. Tozers book titled “The Pursuit of God”. I have come to realize that my problem is very simple indeed. There is too much of me and not enough of Him. With all my heart, I want to be faithful in serving Him in my life. However, I let “me”get in the way. Tozer has a way of saying things that make one think….and think hard.

In the first chapter he talks about Prevenient Grace. Something I never really gave much thought to before. I mean I know it is by grace that we are saved…it’s a gift. But I never really thought about Previenient Grace which is defined “that before man can seek God, God must first have sought man.”

As I look up John 6:44 I am humbled once again. Why do I always end up thinking that I had a hand in this pursuit of God? Yes, it’s my choice to keep pursuing Him, but He is the initiator of that desire that rises up within me. He is the one that started pursuing me and it makes me long to know Him more deeply.

This is one more reminder that my life is no longer about me…..it needs to be all about HIM! Procrastinator or not …he will get through to this thick headed blubbering idiot…one way or the other! I just pray it won’t take me 40 years in the wilderness to get there…….

Blessings,
Julie