Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Armed and ready to go

The battle begins in the early morning hours. Before my physical body wakes to consciousness, the war is waging in my mind. As I wake, I am hit with thoughts and fears that threaten to pull me down.

"Ugh- morning already? I wish I could just stay home"

"I am so useless and lazy. Look at all the things I didn't get done yesterday"

"What if there is something really wrong with me?"

"Why bother trying lose this extra weight? I end up falling off the wagon anyway"

Its time. The lines have been drawn and I must stand firm. I have a choice. I can feed my fears and anxieties or I can let them go out of my mind as fast as they came in and replace them with Words of Life.

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart, lean not unto your own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him and he will make your paths straight." Proverbs 3:5-6

"For I know the plans I have for you," says the Lord. "They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope." Jeremiah 29:11

"Give all your worries and cares to God, for He cares about what happens to you." 1 Peter 5:7.

I named this year the year of renewal. I have challenged myself to renew my thinking and my mind. Honestly.....its been harder than I thought. The more I try the harder it seems to be some days. I am pushing through because I am tired of holding onto the side of the pool...afraid to let go.

As you may have noticed (or not-lol) January and February were so dry for me (thus my lack of posts in bloggy land). I was soaking myself in His Word but I still felt dry...nothing clicked.

Then this morning the battle began. I stood firm and gave praise to God for the gift of a fresh new day. The verses I have been meditating on came flowing through to my defense. Today my joy will not be hindered by my fears. I pushed through- the clouds lifted and I heard a chorus of birds serenading me as I got out of bed. I smile because its so clear He was reminding me of those precious verses that water the soil of this womans soul.

Mark 10:29-31
Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground apart from the will of your Father. And even the very hairs of your head are all numbered. So don't be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows.

3 comments:

Lyla Lindquist said...

Brave, you are.

Jennifer said...

I noticed I hadn't seen the frog in awhile. :-) The battle was always there. You're just fighting it now. Be strong in the Lord. Many, many, many days are hard. If they weren't, we wouldn't want to leave here for our heavenly home.

Jennifer @ Getting Down With Jesus said...

So glad you're pushing through, sister. I stand with you.