Monday, January 24, 2011

Which way to go?

I began this year, by asking God to help me Fear-Less this year. Indeed He has not wasted any time in trying to get me to live outside of my box. My hubby and I began this year by making a promise to God and to each other that this year we would be unafraid. Unafraid in getting to know Him in a more intimate way...unafraid of sharing Him with others...and unafraid of giving everything over to Him.

About four months ago, I did one of the hardest things I have had to do in a long time. After 8 years of being our church's youth leaders, my hubby and I stepped down. We stepped down from something that was familiar, something we had fun doing, and something that I didn't want to let go of. I felt like I lost my identity.

I have felt the nudge for quite sometime, but I was too afraid to give it away. So I clung to it in hopes that I could make it better...that these feelings would pass and a giant doorway would open up and God's voice would tell me "You are right where you need to be". I held on for over a year and there was no giant doorway that opened up and no loud boisterous voice from the heavens that told me I was going in the right direction. The youth in our church had been dwindling down. Sports and drama teams seemed to win out over youth events and fellowship. Parents seemed to want to depend on us to instill certain priorities in their children, but yet, the parents themselves could not make commitments. We struggled....we cried ....and then I knew...we had to step down. We wrestled and prayed over our decision because we knew that in our primarily older congregation no one else would step up and it would fall on the shoulders of our part-time pastor. After much soul searching, we did step down and the pastor stepped up. I am sad to say that the youth attendence still has not increased, despite many prayers.

I am at peace with that decision...I really feel like it was the one that God wanted us to make. However, now we struggle with where we fit in. When we took over the youth we were in our late 20's and early 30's. We were hip, we were cool. Now almost 9 years later we find that there are not many other people in our church our age. Most are over the age of 70 which I love because there is so much to learn from them. But if I am being honest at times its hard because they do not want anything to change. They want things to remain the same as they were 30 years ago and honestly, our church is not growing and they are not reaching out and it saddens me. Everything that comes in is hoarded...and therefore it all becomes stale.

I say all this as a plea for prayer as my hubby and I try to discern where the Lord is leading us next. We want to be obedient to Him and what He wants us to do. We also don't want to make any decisions based on our feelings or emotions.

In the meantime, we wait patiently...we pray fervently and we praise Him in all things.

287. making better choices
288. snow covered fields
289. lazy Sundays
290. accountability
291. the smell of fresh laundry
292. the need of a friend that was met
293. memories captured in a frame
294. a homemade meal
295. a local community coming together after tragedy

Sunday, January 16, 2011

Multitude Mondays

This is my year of being Fear-less. It's funny how he is walking me through some things right now. He is so patient....and I am so grateful. I am gathering words to my thoughts and my experiences but for now...I list my gratitude. He is so good, even when life may not be.

250. early morning snuggles
251. a hand held
252. fresh fallen snow
253. sunrise shades that burst
254. cleaned off cars (so I don't need to rush)
255. safe travels
256. pain managed
257. snow capped trees
258. projects completed
259. right here; right now
260. smiles
261. a great read...that will turn your world upside down.
262. silent moments
263. belly laughs
264. waggy tails
265. hubby grocery shops
266. memorizing verses (and they stick!)
267. soul tending
268. child thanks
269. dishes cleaned
270. shiny sink at days end
271. laundry caught up (no more pile!)
272. baby bunny tracks
273. slow drives to work
274. stopping-readjusting and refocusing
275. emails that inspire
276. stepping up and stepping out
277. choosing faith instead of fear
278. movie nights with the college girls that love to hang at our house.
279. making supper together
280. silly talks
281. girlfriend giggles
282. HOPE
283. prayers lifted up knowing He hears
284. signals to slow down and just breathe
285. community coming together
286. He counts my tears (and yours!)

Monday, January 10, 2011

Unending Gifts

What better way to start a Monday morning...than to count the blessing accumulated over the weekend.


237. a day to rest the weary bones

238. a weekend to revive a craft room that needed care

239. a worship service that nourished the soul and left me wanting more of Him

240. learning that every little step taken is one that increases faith

241. first snow of the New Year (and actually the winter)

242. a new table made from the dear hubby so that I have room to create.

243. saying "I can" instead of "I can't"

244. game night with all the girls before they head back off to college

245. Mom and Dad who brought in the New Year with the flu...are now up and at 'em again.

246. fresh bird tracks in the snow

247. memorizing that scripture

248. homemade chicken noodle soup

249. answered prayer for friends who were in the hospital



Sunday, January 2, 2011

Eat a Live Frog

There's an old saying that says...

"If the first thing you do when you wake up in the morning is eat a live frog, then nothing worse can happen for the rest of the day!"

Truth be told I am a procrastinator and an excuse maker. I am great at making to-do lists to keep me focused on things that I need to get done. That is where many of them stay though...on the list. After the list is made, I begin making a hundred excuses of things that should be done instead. Perhaps I have ADD? Or just a mind that works overtime at keeping me preoccupied with "little foxes" that steal my joy. Either way I am learning (slowly but surely) that I don't need to put off until tomorrow what I can do right now because if I wait long enough...it won't get done tomorrow either.. :)

Its not a resolution because my dear Lord knows just the word resolution makes me want to cringe and run for the hills. But I do want to be intentional about the excuses I make and how to stop and just do the task at hand. I want to eat those live frogs first thing in the morning so I don't have to make an excuse halfway through the day, that I will be too tired to do it when I get home. So, wish me luck on my new "diet"...supposedly frogs taste like chicken... (lol)

One little area that I have been neglecting (not intentionally) is listing those things I am grateful for. I do log them but it has been a while since I have posted them on the blog. That would be my "I'm too busy to blog my blessings but I still have enough time to play Zuma on Facebook" excuses.

I will say though, I in no way think of listing my blessings as a chore.....it is a spirit lifter and a day brightener. So, here is where I get back on track with my Multitude Monday posts:


227. lazy Sunday afternoons

228. morning walks

229. waking to fresh days, fresh starts

230. morning calls to mom and dad to say "I love you"

231. the smell of spring in the beginning of January. Warm days this weekend!

232. water

233. our small church that raised over $1100 to buy water buffalo, flocks of geese ducks and chickens so that a foreign village can learn to sustain themselves.

234. encouragement from friends

235. the chance to make someone else's day brighter

236. that very patient husband of mine


May your days this week be filled with unexpected blessings.


Awakening

While the start of the New Year is exciting for many people, for me it's just really scary. I spent most of the day Friday contemplating the year that has passed and realizing just how scary the upcoming year could be.

Right now...I know what 2010 has held. Both my parents and hubby's parents are still here with us and healthy. Knowing that my Dad is the last of a family of 7 children left looms over my head like a rain cloud on a day meant for a sunny summer picnic. Although I am ever reminded that none of us know for sure when our time will come. So, while I was a little depressed at the turn of the year..I am not without hope.

I have not made any resolutions for this year...none that are carved in stone. The only thing I want to be intentional about is making it a point to hide His word in my heart. I woke up yesterday, the first day of the New Year and I had turned to Isaiah 61. I was led to verse 3:

" and provide for those who grieve in Zion—
to bestow on them a crown of beauty
instead of ashes,
the oil of joy
instead of mourning,
and a garment of praise
instead of a spirit of despair.
They will be called oaks of righteousness,
a planting of the LORD
for the display of his splendor."


On Friday, when I felt distraut about what may lie ahead, I was not trusting in my Creator. I was taking the reigns thinking I could change whatever may happen in the future, by overthinking things in my head. I wanted to start Saturday different and so I did....

I put on my walking shoes and a garment of praise~this is the first song that came on my ipod as I took a walk in the fresh morning air:



Today I am excited to enter my year of learning to Fear-less because I feel my soul awakening!