Wednesday, December 28, 2011

The Year of Fear-Less

Its hard to believe that this year has come and gone so quickly. In less than 4 days 2011 will already be over and gone and 2012 will be here with its promise of a fresh starts and other chances..

Another thing that is hard to believe is that this is only my 15th post this year. UGH! On one hand I feel like a failure, on the other hand I feel like its ok. 2011 was not my year for blogging. It was, however, a great year to read. I did a lot of that and I really enjoyed reading other peoples blogs. :)

Last year, around this time I named my upcoming year. Fear-Less was what I wanted to accomplish this year. As I was driving home from work tonight I began thinking of this last year.

Do I think I achieved what I set out to do this year?

Honestly? My answer would be a big fat NO.

But I did learn something. I learned that I may never stop anticipating and being afraid of the what-if's in this life. That just may be the thorn in my side that I am asked to bear. I did learn, however, that they will not consume me if I am consumed with Christ.

Its ok for me to be afraid at times....because once I pull myself up by my bootstraps I can see that God is right there with me.

I also learned that many of the things I feared the most last year at this time:
never happened.

So I wasted those minutes, hours, days and months for moments I can never get back.

I worried that this may be the last year with both my parents......and guess what?

They are still a blessing in my life.

So this new year approaching is not going to be robbed of any more precious moments. I want to linger in each moment and view it as a gift. I want to savor all the time I have with my family and friends. I want to let go of the things that I have no control of. I want to following God's leading and not be worried of what those around me are thinking. Because bottom line.....its between God and me.

Not me and them.

Last year around this time I wasn't looking forward to a year of unknowns. This year I have a different outlook.....and I am so glad.

My word for 2012 is Abide. Knowing that no matter what may happen I want to keep my eyes fixed on Him.

"If ye abide in me, and my words abide in you, ye shall ask what ye will, and it shall be done unto you." John 15:7

I pray that this New Year is a healthy, happy year for all of you. May God show himself in BIG ways to all of us this year!

Sunday, October 2, 2011

Happy Fall Ya'll!

Even if something is left undone, everyone must take time to sit still and watch the leaves turn. ~Elizabeth Lawrence

I love Fall!

I know…I say that about every season but it is true.

There is something about Fall that makes me giddy with excitement. Before we even hit the last day of summer I am already planning how I am going to decorate my front porch and yard.

This year my dear hubby and I found out about a cute pumpkin farm from some friends. And boy what a find it was! Its hard to believe that only 2 weeks earlier they were completely under the water (because of the flood.)






I was so excited when we got there...I have never seen so many different types of pumpkins and gourds. It was a dream come true. :)




I have a thing for stone buildings with red doors...and look they had one!




Our girls were so excited to get our goodies home so we could decorate (they really are trying to contain their excitement)~



Once we got home...I went to town! These are the final results:





Praying that where ever you are you take some time to sit back and enjoy the changing of the season! Happy Fall!

Monday, September 26, 2011

So Long Summer...

It is hard to believe that summer is over already. So much has been going on I feel like I missed it. As I look back on it I see that there was so much going on but there was also so many memories made and so many small blessings that normally get taken for granted.

296. Camping trips filled with laughter
297. Seeing new places



298. safe travels to and from
299. a handmade card
300. sore hands from working in the garden
301. playing pinochle
302. blue wildflowers by the roadside
303. growing gourds (all different shapes and sizes!)
304. morning serenades from early bird risers
305. the power of water



306. hot dogs on roller grills
307. picnics with family
308. moonlight peeking behind clouds
309. sunflowers bursting



310. Daddy's who hug
311. rainy days for staying in pj's
312. learning to live like this:
Don't cry because its over....smile because it happened.
313. dragonflies slaying the heat in the yard.
314. roadside fruit stands
315. Sunday drives to no where
316. remember that God is in control:

-in earthquakes
-in hurricanes
-in floods (all of which we encountered within the last month and a half)

317. a husband who reminds me to just breath when I am overwhelmed
318. much needed reminders of Who I Am
319. reminders that this is only temporary
320. dinner with friends
321. helping out parents who are slowing down
322. fresh cut flowers from local farm that hubby brought home just because
323. Committing verses to memory
324. stars that shine so bright and fill the sky
325. embracing the changing of the season


So thankful that I have been doing my best to write down the small things that I am learning to see as blessings. Had I not been writing them down...I would easily forget where all the time has gone. Please join in the gratitude community with Ann @ A Holy Experience...and learn not to take the little things for granted!



Choose Joy....

Sunday, September 25, 2011

Not Me! Well maybe.....

I recently had the opportunity to enroll in a bible study titled So Long, Insecurity by Beth Moore. When I first signed up I thought it would be a great opportunity to dig deeper into God's word. However, it never dawned on me that I would ever need to learn about insecurity. In my eyes, I was not insecure. I mean I like meeting new people...I am ok with how God made me...I don't think I have any problems with the way God made me.

Oh how naive I have been.

Joseph Nowinski (author) defines insecurity as this:
"Insecurity refers to a profound sense of self-doubt--a deep feeling of uncertainty about our basic worth and our place in the world. Insecurity is associated with chronic self-conciousness, along with a chronic lack of confidence in ourselves and anxiety about our relationships. The insecure man or woman lives in constant fear of rejection and a deep uncertainy about whether his or her own feelings and desires are legitimate."

Yep..that is pretty much me in a nutshell lately! There has been some big changes this last year. I have been struggling to find my place and as I read over this....the very reason I am afraid to move forward is because of how insecure I am.

Steven Furtik recently said, " We struggle with insecurity because we compare our 'behind the scences footage' weith everyone elses highlights reel'" After I heard that I realized just how true that is. We think that the person standing next to us has it all put together....but we don't really know what is going on on the inside of that person. We are comparing everything we know about us (good and bad) with what we only see of them from the outside.

We also set up False Positives. Thinking that if I could just fix this....I would be at peace or then everything else would fall into place. Problem is when we do accomplish fixing one part...there is always another "if I could just fix this".

Check out this list and see if any bells go off:

"They are married to the most fabulous man in the world."
Prominent false positive: A great man would make me secure.

"Girl, look at your house! You never have to worry about money"
Prominent false positive: Financial success would make me secure"

"She has got the best personality of anybody I know...everybody likes her"
Prominent false positive: Popularity would make me secure"

"They are so young and in the prime of their life!
Prominent false positive: Recapturing my youth would make me secure.

"They run this whole company. Look at how people jump through hoops for them!"
Promininent false positive: Power would make me secure.

"Look at all the degrees on their wall...they are the smartest person I know."
Prominent false positive: Credentials would make me secure.

"They have nothing to worry about...the have tenure!"
Prominent false positive: Job certainty would make me secure

The list goes on but you get the idea. I challenge you to take a small note pad and start righting down all the thoughts that go through your head during the day. From the time you get up until the time you go to sleep. Many on my list start with such a negative mind toward myself. From clothes not fitting to worrying about things happening to my family and friends. Its amazing how the enemy bombards our hearts and minds with such a negative mindset.

Right now I am learning to turn that negative mindset over to God. Exploring the bible to find out what He says about me. The Bible is truth and that is where we should bank our trust and find our worth.

I am starting with Ephesians 2:10
"We are God's masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so that we can do the things he planned for us long ago."

How about you? What verses do you carry in your heart to beat down the negative thoughts that pop up in your mind?

Friday, August 5, 2011

Eleven Years Ago Today....

Eleven years ago today....
* I woke up with butterflys in my tummy anxiously awaiting one of the best days of my life

Eleven years ago today.....
*I was getting ready in a little room in the basement of our church. My mom and my bridesmaids were helping me make sure everything was just right.

Eleven years ago today....
*I took my daddy's hand and he we walked me down the aisle and placed my hand in yours and kissed me as he turned towards his seat.

Eleven years ago today....
*I looked into your eyes and we exchanged our vows in front of God and all of our friends and family. I knew without a doubt that God gave me you, my soulmate, to walk through this life together.

Eleven years ago today.....
*We had the best reception that I have ever been too (ok maybe I am a little biased). We sang and danced into the night with all of our friends and family. They cheered us on as we sang "Paradise by the Dashboard Light" by Meatloaf. Oh how we laughed when the DJ said "They don't mean it! They don't mean it" when we got to the part about praying for the end of time......so I can end my time with you. We were always a little crazy...weren't we? I think we still are.

Eleven years ago today....
*I was scared of venturing into the roll of wife. Not knowing what it really meant and if I could really live up to everyone's expectations. Who am I kidding? I still feel that way sometimes....lol.

Through these eleven years loved ones have passed on, little ones have grown up and are having children of their own. We have lost but we have continued to love each other. We have laughed, we have cried and we have gotten the chance to see a lot of places I never thought we would see. Through it all....God is good and God is faithful.

Eleven years later, here and now, you have been my knight in shining armor, you have stood beside me and held me...you have reminded me that God has our back. You have been the kind of husband a little girl dreams about and the kind of husband that a little girls daddy prays about for his daughter. You are no doubt...an answer to prayers.

I thank God everyday for you....I can't wait to see where our next 11 years take us!

Love you always,

Thursday, June 2, 2011

A Walk Through The Garden

This last weekend my dear hubby and I might have almost killed ourselves. Eight scoops of mulch in 90 plus degree weather equals pretty close to dead Julie and Shannon. Oh but now...after the soreness has worked its way out and the weather has cooled just a bit...I see it was so worth it. I thought I would walk you through to see what is done so far.

What a beautiful surprise we had while mulching our butterfly garden:


A family of bluebirds has made its home:



If you turn around as you stand in front of the butterfly garden you will see:


Along with one of my new favorite plants...sea holly! Can you see the blue color starting to come up through the stems? In a week or two the whole thing will be a beautiful periwinkle blue! These are great for cutting and drying!


This would be my veggie garden! I am not sure what I like best...watching it grow or spending time with my daddy tending it! Sugar peas and green beans:


Yellow beets and radishes:


Tomatoes, green peppers and yellow squash:


This might not look like much but give it a few weeks...this is the start of my cutting garden...complete with sunflowers, broomcorn, cockscomb, and a bunch of other stuff!


As if I didn't have enough raised beds...I had hubby put in a double decker for more cut flowers!

The beds around the potting shed:




The last bed across the back of our property:


And finally a place to sit and enjoy:



So, this is why I have not been blogging this last week or so.....I had a date with some garden beds while "He walked with me...and talked with me"

Sorry I couldn't resist......
Next time I will make sure to get the dew on the roses. :)

Thursday, May 26, 2011

Camping Out

An invitation was extended.

I accepted…not knowing where I would land.

Then it hit me- out of the blue. Tucked right in there in Romans Chapter 8.

How did I ever miss these little nuggets before? Could it be I am too wrapped up in me to see He?

:::

I am by default, a worrier and a what-iffer. I wrap myself up in the unknown. I worry about tomorrow and its not even here yet. I doubt his goodness some days and then I feel shame for feeling that way. The year of Fear-less has been molding me….has been good for me. But I am still a work in progress. I suppose that I am not the only one who feels that way. Feeling like you are on an island and you need to walk through the jungle alone. His word tells me I am not alone…He promises to never leave me or forsake me. However, there was one thing I missed…one thing I overlooked. That not only is He with me but He is praying for me. As if, dying on a cross was not enough to prove His love. His love for me did not end with His sacrifice on the cross. It continues today, tomorrow, forever. To realize He loves me enough despite my wretchedness to sit and pray me through each and every day…is overwhelming. So overwhelming that I must sit some more.

:::

Christ Jesus is at the right hand of God and is also praying for us. ~ Romans 8:34

I am camping out in Romans 8:31-39 until at least Sunday (when my 7 days ends). However, I might just stay for an extended visit.

Funny how standing still opens up the heart to actually hear.

Friday, May 20, 2011

Gardening and Soul Tending

It never ceases to amaze me how gardening mimics our spiritual lives. A seed is planted in the ground, new life sprouts. A gardener tends to the soil watering it and feeding it and getting rid of the weeds. Soon the seedling has grown and matured and the most magnificent flower has burst forth with color. Stretching towards the light of the sun to feed it and give it its life. If the garden is not tended to properly, however, something else happens. The plant will shrivel up and die and weeds will uproot and cover the plant and choke out its life.

The same is true said of our spiritual lives. At one time a seed was planted. We were fed nutrients (the Word of God) to make us stronger. If tended to we mature and are at peace with where we are in life. We blossom and we learn to look and reach for the Son who came to give us life and life to the fullest. Tending the garden of our soul, however, does not just happen during a Sunday morning worship service. Tending to the garden of our souls, has to happen on a daily basis in order for us to bloom into all that God desires for us. Spending time in His Word, praying and fellowshipping with other Christians are very important nutrients that help us all grow together and support each other. Our relationships with God and with other Christians are like the tomato cages of our soul gardens. These relationships surround us and uphold us when the storms of this life hit. If we do not make time to nurture our relationship with God (The Gardener) and with others it makes it a lot harder to weather the storms.

Perhaps this is why I love gardening so much…it bring me back to my center….to The Gardener…to the one who works all things out for my good. Many things I struggle with, but one thing is for sure…He is good and He promises beauty from ashes. The garden reminds of this.

I have played around with changes on my blog for sometime. Nothing quite fit. Then I stumbled upon Franchesca, who is a living, breathing example of how God makes beauty from the messes this life leaves. Her story is amazing…and her work is amazing. Please stop over and check her out…you’ll be glad you did! I gave her the things that tug at my heart and she ran with it…I think it suits me just fine…don’t you?

In closing, I leave you with a devotion out of “Jesus Calling”. I believe it fits right in with where I am right now.

I have promised to meet all your needs according to my glorious riches. Your deepest, most constant need is for My Peace. I have planted Peace in the garden of your heart, where I live; but there are weeds growing there too: pride, worry, selfishness, unbelief. I am the Gardener, and I am working to rid your heart of those weeds. I do my work in various ways. When you sit quietly with Me, I shine the Light of My Presence directly into your heart. In this Heavenly Light, Peace grows abundantly and weeds shrivel up. When you trust Me in the midst of trouble, Peace flourishes and weeds die away. Thank Me for troublesome situations; the Peace they can produce far outweighs the trials you endure.
Philippians 4:19; 2 Corinthians 4:17

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

I'm still here

I can't believe how long its been since I posted here. The entire month of April has come and gone and I have not been able to gather my thoughts to write. I miss it. The last few months I have wondered if I should just pack my bags and move on out of this blogmosphere. My words in this small space don't move mountains...dont fix problems and they certainly don't mean much except to me. Ah but something holds me here. The friends I have met online mean so much. I would not have had the chance to meet them if not for this bloggy world. So I am keeping this space and will be cleaning up a little. I promise to be a better hostess too. :)

In the meantime here is a few things that have been going on around here. Lets call them a few of my favorite things:

Spring Sunsets:




Blooming bleeding hearts (He sends them to remind me of His love):




Wisteria wandering over my trellis:



Koi pond coming to life:



Lovely lilacs that smell so sweet:




Azaleas that remind me of how He washed me whiter than snow:



Mothers Day dinner with my precious Mother:




Reminders that the clouds may come but His light shines bright:



Let all of creation...sing with me now...

Thursday, March 31, 2011

David Days

Some days I feel like David crying out :

“O LORD, how long will you forget me? Forever?
How long will you look the other way?
How long must I struggle with anguish in my soul,
with sorrow in my heart every day?
How long will my enemy have the upper hand?” ~ Psalm 13:1-2


It seems as if the last month has been filled with tragedy and sadness and it leaves me feeling so empty, so sad and I try to make sense of it all. How do we as the human race find peace in the midst of uncertain times? How do we as Christians answer those hard questions of how and why when there is an unbelieving world out there waiting to throw stones.

My heart bleeds out earlier this month. A mother watches as seven of her precious children are laid to rest all on the same day. Two are spared …a three year old little girl and one still in utero. Tears stream down my face as I struggle to make sense of it all. Do the words of David fall from this mothers lips too?

“O LORD, how long will you forget me? Forever?
How long will you look the other way?
How long must I struggle with anguish in my soul,
with sorrow in my heart every day?
How long will my enemy have the upper hand?” ~ Psalm 13:1-2


Within days the earthquake rocks Japan and a tsunami follows. Thousands of people are hurt, lost and killed. The nuclear power plant melting down threatens to steal what is left. How does a nation recover from this? How do they not feel forgotten? Do the dark clouds of depression and oppression ever lift so they can see the light at the end of the tunnel? Do they cry out in the night? Or do they waist away silently?

“O LORD, how long will you forget me? Forever?
How long will you look the other way?
How long must I struggle with anguish in my soul,
with sorrow in my heart every day?
How long will my enemy have the upper hand?” ~ Psalm 13:1-2


This is the hard eucharisteo that Ann writes about in her book One Thousand Gifts. How do we find beauty in the midst of ashes? How do we find joy when darkness swells all around? How do we talk and teach of a loving God when everything around us is falling apart? I read David’s words in the first two verses of Psalm 13 and I feel as if the words came from the depths of my soul. I read more …how does David resolve this anxiety that swells up within him? He searches for the answers that plague him…he goes right to the one who holds all the answers:

“Turn and answer me, O LORD my God!
Restore the sparkle to my eyes, or I will die.
Don’t let my enemies gloat, saying, “We have defeated him!”
Don’t let them rejoice at my downfall.”~ Psalm 13:3-4


David was not afraid to work it out with God. He was not afraid to ask the hard questions that swallowed him up. Why am I? Perhaps, subconsciously, I feel like I have broader shoulders, that I can handle it more than He. Or maybe I just have a hard time letting go. Maybe I white knuckle my way through most things in this life because I am afraid of what it might cost me in the end. I know I don’t want to do it that way anymore. I know that I am slowly changing and He is so patient. I want to hash it out like David and ask the hard questions. I still may not find all the answers I am looking for… but I know I am coming to a deeper understanding of the one who knit me together. Whatever I give….God is able to handle …so why do I always forget that?

Finally, David does what I am learning to do. The hard eucharisteo:

“But I trust in your unfailing love.
I will rejoice because you have rescued me.
I will sing to the LORD
because he is good to me.” ~Psalm 13:5-6


Regardless of the situations that threatened David, he took it to God and then he remembered how faithful God is and was. If nothing else I have been saved from death’s sting. For that alone…He deserves my praise and my gratitude. This is a hard thing for a grieving mother to swallow or a family torn apart from a natural disaster. My prayer is they look for something good in the everyday. The joy of seeing a community come together to help rebuild. The rejoicing of a survivor found after days left alone under the rubble. The outpouring of love and help to hold each other up when one is too weak to take another step. It is in these moments that God shows himself worthy and faithful. We just have to stop and search for Him in the midst of it all.

Monday, January 24, 2011

Which way to go?

I began this year, by asking God to help me Fear-Less this year. Indeed He has not wasted any time in trying to get me to live outside of my box. My hubby and I began this year by making a promise to God and to each other that this year we would be unafraid. Unafraid in getting to know Him in a more intimate way...unafraid of sharing Him with others...and unafraid of giving everything over to Him.

About four months ago, I did one of the hardest things I have had to do in a long time. After 8 years of being our church's youth leaders, my hubby and I stepped down. We stepped down from something that was familiar, something we had fun doing, and something that I didn't want to let go of. I felt like I lost my identity.

I have felt the nudge for quite sometime, but I was too afraid to give it away. So I clung to it in hopes that I could make it better...that these feelings would pass and a giant doorway would open up and God's voice would tell me "You are right where you need to be". I held on for over a year and there was no giant doorway that opened up and no loud boisterous voice from the heavens that told me I was going in the right direction. The youth in our church had been dwindling down. Sports and drama teams seemed to win out over youth events and fellowship. Parents seemed to want to depend on us to instill certain priorities in their children, but yet, the parents themselves could not make commitments. We struggled....we cried ....and then I knew...we had to step down. We wrestled and prayed over our decision because we knew that in our primarily older congregation no one else would step up and it would fall on the shoulders of our part-time pastor. After much soul searching, we did step down and the pastor stepped up. I am sad to say that the youth attendence still has not increased, despite many prayers.

I am at peace with that decision...I really feel like it was the one that God wanted us to make. However, now we struggle with where we fit in. When we took over the youth we were in our late 20's and early 30's. We were hip, we were cool. Now almost 9 years later we find that there are not many other people in our church our age. Most are over the age of 70 which I love because there is so much to learn from them. But if I am being honest at times its hard because they do not want anything to change. They want things to remain the same as they were 30 years ago and honestly, our church is not growing and they are not reaching out and it saddens me. Everything that comes in is hoarded...and therefore it all becomes stale.

I say all this as a plea for prayer as my hubby and I try to discern where the Lord is leading us next. We want to be obedient to Him and what He wants us to do. We also don't want to make any decisions based on our feelings or emotions.

In the meantime, we wait patiently...we pray fervently and we praise Him in all things.

287. making better choices
288. snow covered fields
289. lazy Sundays
290. accountability
291. the smell of fresh laundry
292. the need of a friend that was met
293. memories captured in a frame
294. a homemade meal
295. a local community coming together after tragedy

Sunday, January 16, 2011

Multitude Mondays

This is my year of being Fear-less. It's funny how he is walking me through some things right now. He is so patient....and I am so grateful. I am gathering words to my thoughts and my experiences but for now...I list my gratitude. He is so good, even when life may not be.

250. early morning snuggles
251. a hand held
252. fresh fallen snow
253. sunrise shades that burst
254. cleaned off cars (so I don't need to rush)
255. safe travels
256. pain managed
257. snow capped trees
258. projects completed
259. right here; right now
260. smiles
261. a great read...that will turn your world upside down.
262. silent moments
263. belly laughs
264. waggy tails
265. hubby grocery shops
266. memorizing verses (and they stick!)
267. soul tending
268. child thanks
269. dishes cleaned
270. shiny sink at days end
271. laundry caught up (no more pile!)
272. baby bunny tracks
273. slow drives to work
274. stopping-readjusting and refocusing
275. emails that inspire
276. stepping up and stepping out
277. choosing faith instead of fear
278. movie nights with the college girls that love to hang at our house.
279. making supper together
280. silly talks
281. girlfriend giggles
282. HOPE
283. prayers lifted up knowing He hears
284. signals to slow down and just breathe
285. community coming together
286. He counts my tears (and yours!)

Monday, January 10, 2011

Unending Gifts

What better way to start a Monday morning...than to count the blessing accumulated over the weekend.


237. a day to rest the weary bones

238. a weekend to revive a craft room that needed care

239. a worship service that nourished the soul and left me wanting more of Him

240. learning that every little step taken is one that increases faith

241. first snow of the New Year (and actually the winter)

242. a new table made from the dear hubby so that I have room to create.

243. saying "I can" instead of "I can't"

244. game night with all the girls before they head back off to college

245. Mom and Dad who brought in the New Year with the flu...are now up and at 'em again.

246. fresh bird tracks in the snow

247. memorizing that scripture

248. homemade chicken noodle soup

249. answered prayer for friends who were in the hospital



Sunday, January 2, 2011

Eat a Live Frog

There's an old saying that says...

"If the first thing you do when you wake up in the morning is eat a live frog, then nothing worse can happen for the rest of the day!"

Truth be told I am a procrastinator and an excuse maker. I am great at making to-do lists to keep me focused on things that I need to get done. That is where many of them stay though...on the list. After the list is made, I begin making a hundred excuses of things that should be done instead. Perhaps I have ADD? Or just a mind that works overtime at keeping me preoccupied with "little foxes" that steal my joy. Either way I am learning (slowly but surely) that I don't need to put off until tomorrow what I can do right now because if I wait long enough...it won't get done tomorrow either.. :)

Its not a resolution because my dear Lord knows just the word resolution makes me want to cringe and run for the hills. But I do want to be intentional about the excuses I make and how to stop and just do the task at hand. I want to eat those live frogs first thing in the morning so I don't have to make an excuse halfway through the day, that I will be too tired to do it when I get home. So, wish me luck on my new "diet"...supposedly frogs taste like chicken... (lol)

One little area that I have been neglecting (not intentionally) is listing those things I am grateful for. I do log them but it has been a while since I have posted them on the blog. That would be my "I'm too busy to blog my blessings but I still have enough time to play Zuma on Facebook" excuses.

I will say though, I in no way think of listing my blessings as a chore.....it is a spirit lifter and a day brightener. So, here is where I get back on track with my Multitude Monday posts:


227. lazy Sunday afternoons

228. morning walks

229. waking to fresh days, fresh starts

230. morning calls to mom and dad to say "I love you"

231. the smell of spring in the beginning of January. Warm days this weekend!

232. water

233. our small church that raised over $1100 to buy water buffalo, flocks of geese ducks and chickens so that a foreign village can learn to sustain themselves.

234. encouragement from friends

235. the chance to make someone else's day brighter

236. that very patient husband of mine


May your days this week be filled with unexpected blessings.


Awakening

While the start of the New Year is exciting for many people, for me it's just really scary. I spent most of the day Friday contemplating the year that has passed and realizing just how scary the upcoming year could be.

Right now...I know what 2010 has held. Both my parents and hubby's parents are still here with us and healthy. Knowing that my Dad is the last of a family of 7 children left looms over my head like a rain cloud on a day meant for a sunny summer picnic. Although I am ever reminded that none of us know for sure when our time will come. So, while I was a little depressed at the turn of the year..I am not without hope.

I have not made any resolutions for this year...none that are carved in stone. The only thing I want to be intentional about is making it a point to hide His word in my heart. I woke up yesterday, the first day of the New Year and I had turned to Isaiah 61. I was led to verse 3:

" and provide for those who grieve in Zion—
to bestow on them a crown of beauty
instead of ashes,
the oil of joy
instead of mourning,
and a garment of praise
instead of a spirit of despair.
They will be called oaks of righteousness,
a planting of the LORD
for the display of his splendor."


On Friday, when I felt distraut about what may lie ahead, I was not trusting in my Creator. I was taking the reigns thinking I could change whatever may happen in the future, by overthinking things in my head. I wanted to start Saturday different and so I did....

I put on my walking shoes and a garment of praise~this is the first song that came on my ipod as I took a walk in the fresh morning air:



Today I am excited to enter my year of learning to Fear-less because I feel my soul awakening!