Sunday, September 25, 2011

Not Me! Well maybe.....

I recently had the opportunity to enroll in a bible study titled So Long, Insecurity by Beth Moore. When I first signed up I thought it would be a great opportunity to dig deeper into God's word. However, it never dawned on me that I would ever need to learn about insecurity. In my eyes, I was not insecure. I mean I like meeting new people...I am ok with how God made me...I don't think I have any problems with the way God made me.

Oh how naive I have been.

Joseph Nowinski (author) defines insecurity as this:
"Insecurity refers to a profound sense of self-doubt--a deep feeling of uncertainty about our basic worth and our place in the world. Insecurity is associated with chronic self-conciousness, along with a chronic lack of confidence in ourselves and anxiety about our relationships. The insecure man or woman lives in constant fear of rejection and a deep uncertainy about whether his or her own feelings and desires are legitimate."

Yep..that is pretty much me in a nutshell lately! There has been some big changes this last year. I have been struggling to find my place and as I read over this....the very reason I am afraid to move forward is because of how insecure I am.

Steven Furtik recently said, " We struggle with insecurity because we compare our 'behind the scences footage' weith everyone elses highlights reel'" After I heard that I realized just how true that is. We think that the person standing next to us has it all put together....but we don't really know what is going on on the inside of that person. We are comparing everything we know about us (good and bad) with what we only see of them from the outside.

We also set up False Positives. Thinking that if I could just fix this....I would be at peace or then everything else would fall into place. Problem is when we do accomplish fixing one part...there is always another "if I could just fix this".

Check out this list and see if any bells go off:

"They are married to the most fabulous man in the world."
Prominent false positive: A great man would make me secure.

"Girl, look at your house! You never have to worry about money"
Prominent false positive: Financial success would make me secure"

"She has got the best personality of anybody I know...everybody likes her"
Prominent false positive: Popularity would make me secure"

"They are so young and in the prime of their life!
Prominent false positive: Recapturing my youth would make me secure.

"They run this whole company. Look at how people jump through hoops for them!"
Promininent false positive: Power would make me secure.

"Look at all the degrees on their wall...they are the smartest person I know."
Prominent false positive: Credentials would make me secure.

"They have nothing to worry about...the have tenure!"
Prominent false positive: Job certainty would make me secure

The list goes on but you get the idea. I challenge you to take a small note pad and start righting down all the thoughts that go through your head during the day. From the time you get up until the time you go to sleep. Many on my list start with such a negative mind toward myself. From clothes not fitting to worrying about things happening to my family and friends. Its amazing how the enemy bombards our hearts and minds with such a negative mindset.

Right now I am learning to turn that negative mindset over to God. Exploring the bible to find out what He says about me. The Bible is truth and that is where we should bank our trust and find our worth.

I am starting with Ephesians 2:10
"We are God's masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so that we can do the things he planned for us long ago."

How about you? What verses do you carry in your heart to beat down the negative thoughts that pop up in your mind?