Wednesday, November 27, 2013

What Thanksgiving Has Taught Me

I still remember it like it was yesterday.  

I woke up and knew in my heart something was not right.  A frantic call to a phone number left me numb when I was told someone would call me back as to what I should do.

After waiting for what seemed like eternity I got dressed and told my husband to drive me to the hospital.  I knew what was happening but I didn’t want to believe it. After a few tests the doctors confirmed what I feared the most.  There was no detectable heartbeat.  Just like that.  I could choose to stay in the hospital and have a DNC or I could go home and let my body take care of it naturally.  I chose the latter.  I suppose a part of me thought maybe the doctors were wrong.  Maybe this wasn’t how the story was going to end.  I was wrong…and Black Friday can take on a whole other meaning in times like this.

I have learned a lot since then.  I have learned that sometimes a body remembers all on its own…before you unintentionally think about it.  Before you know it the years have passed by like water running through your hands and sometimes you feel like you don’t have anything tangible to show for it.  It can leave you feeling empty and broken if you’re not careful.  I have learned not to be defined by what others may think of us as we walk this path without children.  I have learned that it doesn’t make me love their children any less or that I am not happy for them.  I am…it just so happens that our life worked out different.  I have learned that I can be happy regardless.

This morning, during my devotions, it all became a little clearer to me.
Christ fills empty vessels.

Beth Moore says, “Nothing destroys life like emptiness.  Hollow places deep inside of us never sit dormant.  They are vacuums attempting to inhale anything within reach. Left unchecked, the clock will tick only so long before the life self-destructs.  Christians are not exempt.  We still battle overwhelming feelings of emptiness.  We can possess eternal life yet never be “filled” with God’s love.”

She then goes onto say “When we allow Christ to fill our hollow places, inevitably others will draw closer to us. Only Christ can fill our empty pitchers.”

For many years I wanted to avoid Thanksgiving altogether.  Skip right to the Christmas season and get it over with.  In doing that I missed out on the gift of right here and right now.  Now that I am older and wiser I know that joy is not the absence of sorrow…it is the presence of God.  If I take my empty, broken pitcher He will fill it until it overflows and that is just one of the many reasons why I am so thankful this Thanksgiving.

John 2:7-8
Jesus told the servants, “Fill the jars with water.” When the jars had been filled, he said, “Now dip some out, and take it to the master of ceremonies.” So the servants followed his instructions.

Sweet Sweet Mercies


Wendy said...

Beautifully written, xoxo