A Random Letter to My Lord

Behold, I am the Lord, the God of all flesh; is there anything too hard for Me?-Jeremiah 32:27 (Amplified)

No Lord...there is nothing too hard for you. However, lately I am having trouble letting it all at your feet. It seems my head is filled with doubt and fear and worry and I cannot seem to make sense of anything. I know that I am not living a life worthy of the sacrifice you made for me..help me to see things more clearly.

In less than two weeks, hubby and I will be celebrating 10 years of marriage. We have come so far in our relationship and our walk with you. We have been blessed beyond measure and so now I worry when the other shoe my drop. Don't get me wrong God, we have had our share of hardships like Daddy's quadruple bypass, DH heart condition (since he was born), a miscarriage and watching many loved ones move on to their eternal home. You saw us through all these things and I wonder how we did get through it without falling to apart.

It seems I am entering another season of unknowns and I am having a hard time hearing you. I NEED to hear from you. Help me listen and obey your leading.
I am in the in between. I am not sure where I fit and I need you to show me how to proceed.

Help me to give in and let go.

Cause you are the God of all flesh and there is nothing too hard for you!

Love,
your daughter
Julie

My year in review (so far)

I apologize in advance for the Randomness of this post, however, that is the name of the blog. :)

Renew.

That is the word I chose to name the year of 2010. A year to allow God to work in me and renew my mind, my thoughts, my actions and my motives.

With this new name for my year came some other things that I would really like to accomplish before December 31, 2010.

For instance:

*get organized

*dwindle our debt down

*strive to be a better wife, youth leader, aunt and daughter.

*make 2 new recipes a month

*sponsor a child in need

As far as getting organized I was off to a flying start. Before New Years Eve was here I cleaned and organized the kitchen cupboards and pantry. (I likey.. :)) I felt like I accomplished something! But then I looked at the other closets and storage areas in the house and soon began to feel overwhelmed. Laundry never being completely done (can someone tell me how 2 people have so much laundry?) Soon negative thoughts began to creep in and say things like "you'll never get this or that done" and "blah, blah blah". In order to get my mind on something else I took a load of laundry down to the basement and right there in front of me in big words...it was all spelled out for me....."Renewing Freshness"

He certainly knows when I need a reminder and a smile!

As far as the debt thing goes...well that can be overwhelming too...especially in todays economy but I know all things will work out.

In regards to being a better wife, youth leader,aunt and daughter this too is a work in progress. I have a nephew who had been in some trouble in the past. We thought he was doing so much better only to find out he just got better at hiding what he was doing. Not the news I wanted to hear no 5 days into this new year. My sweet Jake is just one of many children that struggle when a family is torn apart. My heart breaks as I watch him make choices that will haunt him the rest of his life. He is only 14 and I have lost many tears, and sleepless nights praying for him and trying to make him turn around. My sister no longer knows what to do and his father is in denial. He and I were so close until last year...he stole some things from our house. I forgave him but emotionally I had to cut some strings. Now, with this news I am out of tears and feeling quite numb. The whole thing makes me feel like a horrible person because I cannot change him. I cannot make him see how much God loves him and wants the best for him. It makes me question my role as a youth leader. How can I lead other children to the Lord if I can't lead my family? Someone once told me that I may not be the one who leads him to the Lord...and that I can't fix him.....maybe not....but God can. I am praying for that all the time. In the meantime we all hold each other close and love each other as best we can.

Next on my list was learning 2 new recipes a month. This is all thanks to the movie Julie & Julia. What is it about watching a movie that makes people think (mainly me) that I am capable of doing such a task? Sunday I was all gung-ho on making homemade chicken turnovers. I prepared the chicken filling and then it was time to make the rurnover part. EEK! Good but what a mess in the kitchen. Hubby agrees refrigerated crescent rolls would be much easier and less mess. Maybe not as good but oh the sacrifices we make!

Next, I am really excited about sponsoring a Compassion child. This is something I have been wanting to do for quite some time and I am working on doing so this month. I cannot wait to start corresponding with them and as soon as I get the details I will introduce him/her to bloggy land.

One last thing that I am doing is reading throught the bible this year. Primarily because I need and want the discipline to spend time each day with my Savior so that He can "Renew ' me each and everyday. What a difference it makes and I am learning some new things that I have overlooked before.

Well, there you have it. My year, so far, in a nutshell. Some good, some bad, some high notes, some low notes. Without the bad we never appreciate the good....without the low notes we never relish in the high notes. Looking forward to the rest of this year and watching Him make all things new again...me included. Maybe...just maybe...by the year end I will release freshness when I move (just like my Bounce dryer sheets!)

Blessings,