The Year of Fear-Less

Its hard to believe that this year has come and gone so quickly. In less than 4 days 2011 will already be over and gone and 2012 will be here with its promise of a fresh starts and other chances..

Another thing that is hard to believe is that this is only my 15th post this year. UGH! On one hand I feel like a failure, on the other hand I feel like its ok. 2011 was not my year for blogging. It was, however, a great year to read. I did a lot of that and I really enjoyed reading other peoples blogs. :)

Last year, around this time I named my upcoming year. Fear-Less was what I wanted to accomplish this year. As I was driving home from work tonight I began thinking of this last year.

Do I think I achieved what I set out to do this year?

Honestly? My answer would be a big fat NO.

But I did learn something. I learned that I may never stop anticipating and being afraid of the what-if's in this life. That just may be the thorn in my side that I am asked to bear. I did learn, however, that they will not consume me if I am consumed with Christ.

Its ok for me to be afraid at times....because once I pull myself up by my bootstraps I can see that God is right there with me.

I also learned that many of the things I feared the most last year at this time:
never happened.

So I wasted those minutes, hours, days and months for moments I can never get back.

I worried that this may be the last year with both my parents......and guess what?

They are still a blessing in my life.

So this new year approaching is not going to be robbed of any more precious moments. I want to linger in each moment and view it as a gift. I want to savor all the time I have with my family and friends. I want to let go of the things that I have no control of. I want to following God's leading and not be worried of what those around me are thinking. Because bottom line.....its between God and me.

Not me and them.

Last year around this time I wasn't looking forward to a year of unknowns. This year I have a different outlook.....and I am so glad.

My word for 2012 is Abide. Knowing that no matter what may happen I want to keep my eyes fixed on Him.

"If ye abide in me, and my words abide in you, ye shall ask what ye will, and it shall be done unto you." John 15:7

I pray that this New Year is a healthy, happy year for all of you. May God show himself in BIG ways to all of us this year!

Looking back and looking ahead

Is it just me or has 2009 came and gone in the blink of an eye? For some reason its hard to believe that soon we will be moving into another year.

So much to look back on and reflect on. Some happy some sad...either way it now transitions into what was with the hope of what will be.

I look back on this year and consider myself blessed. I have smiled, laughed, cried and spurted tears of joy. I have held onto old friends and made some new. I have learned much even though I wish I would have learned some more. I have let go of some things and held onto others. I have wrestled with fears of the unknown but also in the end I have learned to give things over to God.

When I was growing up it would have been hard for me to imagine that I would have the opportunity to have an online journal of sorts. A place where I could go and pound out my feelings, my fears , my joys and my wishes. I would have thought you were crazy if you would have told me that I would have the opportunity to meet some really amazing and supportive people. People who let you vent and then offer their two cents and words of encouragement to help you work out what you are working through. When you think about it its amazing. God can even use the internet to bring people together and help them on this journey we call life.

I feel honored to be able to visit their blogs and see the world through their eyes. To be able to look at things from a fresh new perspective but most of all to make me think and grow. To be able to pray for them when they are going through troubled times and to know that if I asked them..they would do the same for me. God is good.

Normally when the New Year approaches, I make a few resolutions that I know in the end I will not have the will power to complete. The one thing I really wish I would have stuck to was reading the Bible through this year. I did great until about March and then time and other things got in the way. Not something I am proud of at all. I am happy that I have the opportunity to try again in 2010 and look forward to sticking with it and letting God show me some amazing things as I travel through His Word. Prayers would be much appreciated!

As 2010 approaches Ann suggests naming the year. After much pondering I have decided that 2010 will be "The Year of Renewal" for me. Renewing my mind with His Word and soaking as much of Him in as I can so that it changes me from the inside out. I want this next year to be less of me and more of Him. Honestly, I can't wait to get started!

Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will. Romans 12:2