Looking back and looking ahead

Is it just me or has 2009 came and gone in the blink of an eye? For some reason its hard to believe that soon we will be moving into another year.

So much to look back on and reflect on. Some happy some sad...either way it now transitions into what was with the hope of what will be.

I look back on this year and consider myself blessed. I have smiled, laughed, cried and spurted tears of joy. I have held onto old friends and made some new. I have learned much even though I wish I would have learned some more. I have let go of some things and held onto others. I have wrestled with fears of the unknown but also in the end I have learned to give things over to God.

When I was growing up it would have been hard for me to imagine that I would have the opportunity to have an online journal of sorts. A place where I could go and pound out my feelings, my fears , my joys and my wishes. I would have thought you were crazy if you would have told me that I would have the opportunity to meet some really amazing and supportive people. People who let you vent and then offer their two cents and words of encouragement to help you work out what you are working through. When you think about it its amazing. God can even use the internet to bring people together and help them on this journey we call life.

I feel honored to be able to visit their blogs and see the world through their eyes. To be able to look at things from a fresh new perspective but most of all to make me think and grow. To be able to pray for them when they are going through troubled times and to know that if I asked them..they would do the same for me. God is good.

Normally when the New Year approaches, I make a few resolutions that I know in the end I will not have the will power to complete. The one thing I really wish I would have stuck to was reading the Bible through this year. I did great until about March and then time and other things got in the way. Not something I am proud of at all. I am happy that I have the opportunity to try again in 2010 and look forward to sticking with it and letting God show me some amazing things as I travel through His Word. Prayers would be much appreciated!

As 2010 approaches Ann suggests naming the year. After much pondering I have decided that 2010 will be "The Year of Renewal" for me. Renewing my mind with His Word and soaking as much of Him in as I can so that it changes me from the inside out. I want this next year to be less of me and more of Him. Honestly, I can't wait to get started!

Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will. Romans 12:2

Hard to Believe

I must say that this Christmas was one of the best Christmas's I remember having as an adult. This year we toned everything down to try and focus on the things that really matter. To try and focus on the one true gift in our lives. I did so much better this year...less worry...less stress and to be honest...I am a little disappointed that the celebration is over. Hubby and I made most of our gifts this year and it seemed to be a hit. Now the rest of our family thinks that should be the case from now on.....something homeade instead of stressing about what to buy and how much to spend. It really was a wonderful peaceful Christmas....

Its funny how things start going back to what the world considers normal. Christmas is nothing more than happy memories tucked inside my heart and mind right now. Monday meant back to work and back to reality after a nice long weekend filled with friends and family and lots of fun.
No more Merry Christmas's in passing...no more smiles and holiday hugs. All these seemed to have been replaced with those scurrying around scarfing up the after Christmas sales or exchanging gifts that don't fit or things they will never use. Everyone seems to fall right back into the hustle and bustle of everyday life. Going from one thing to the next..then the next...then the next. Many people are tearing down the seasons decorations and moving on to the next big thing.

I don't want it to end. I don't want the feeling of joy and peace that envelope me at Christmas to end or go away. The good news is it doesn't have to. I can still enjoy the Gift that keeps on giving. He is one thing that won't be boxed up and put away until next year. In fact, I want to unwrap Him again and again...each and every day. Everyday for the rest of this year and everyday of the new year.

Sometimes its hard to believe that God loves me enough to have sent the Ultimate Gift. One that never becomes outdated or broken. Its new everyday...and that is a beautiful thing!

"For God so loved the World that He gave His one and only Son that whosoever believes in Him shall not perish but have everlasting life." John 3:16

A shoulder to lean on...

I read this little tidbit from Patsy Clairmont today:

"I can imagine Elizabeth, soon-to-be mom of John the baptist, drawing Mary, soon-to-be mother of Jesus, onto her aging shoulder. Two women, the old and the young, embracing in mutual identification. Two women seeking solace in each others company. Two women honorably connecting to one another. Sisters of divine circumstance shouldering the future of humanity."

I cannot imagine the fear and the uncertainty that they faced alone. But God was so good to them by giving them each other to help each other through a scary and uncertain time. God was good then.....and He still is. He still places people in our paths to help us through rough patches.

Thank you, Lord.

It's the most wonderful time of the year!

Well let me correct myself and say....

"I love this time of year until I am down to the wire and running out of gift ideas and then I just freak out!"

However, this year is different. We are making a change. I refuse to let the commercialization of Christmas get to me. This year its not about gifts...its about "The Gift". Purposely making time to reflect on the real reason why we celebrate this holiday. And for the first time in a long time...I couldn't be any more excited.

Simplify is my new favorite word, but more than that I love the peace that envelopes me when I say or hear that word. Simplify. Dear hubby and I are making most of our gifts this year....giving up crowded stores and snippy shoppers for a quiet night at home working in the wood shop or painting in the craft room. The receivers are getting more than a hand painted sign or a keepsake box they are being prayed for. With a stroke of the ole' paintbrush a prayer of thanksgiving for them is being lifted. Thanking God for their presence in our life. Asking God to bless them and their family and friends. Asking God to use them in mighty ways.

I pray that this is the gift that keeps giving throughout the year...not just at Christmas. He is "The Gift" that keeps on giving and how can anyone top that? You can't! I am just so glad it didn't take me until Christmas to remember that this year... :)

May you find peace in the simple everyday things this Christmas season!

Blessings,

Thanksgiving

There is much to be thankful for although this time of year it seems I don't like to be thankful.

Since a Thanksgiving Day six years ago.....I tend to overlook what I am thankful for and like to wallow in what was lost.

I am embarrassed at how UN-Christianlike that sounds. At how ungrateful it sounds but for the last few Thanksgivings its just how I have felt. It is just like my body knows and remembers and I find myself in a hole somehow. One that I don't like being in. So this time...I am fighting it. Pushing forward...knowing in my heart of hearts the He had and does have my best interests at heart. And this week I will focus on my blessings which are many....

.....that the child we lost has a front row seat on the lap of their heavenly Father.

.....for the friends and family who help me through still difficult times knowing when I just need the silence.

.....for the joy that comes after the rain

......for a hubby who is ever so patient with me and loves me despite my many faults and inadequacies.

......for a job that on occasion really drives me crazy.

.....for quiet time spent soaking in His presence.

......for unexpected laughter that drives me to happy tears.

......for phone calls from mom & dad to make sure I know that I am loved.


May your blessings be many this Thanksgiving week~and may God show himself to you in mighty mighty ways this week.

Gifts overflow

71. the sound of laughter

72. the sun after a season of rain

73. fall decorations

74. the whisper of the wind

75. unexpected emails

76. a cup of hot tea

77. a fire to warm the body, heart and soul

78. curling up with a good book

79. a morning call to Mom

80. a day to just explore

81. warm apple dumplings on a chilly afternoon

82. the tapping of the rain of the roof

83. natures lullaby

84. a memory of good times past

85. dancing to the song in my heart (while no one is watching!)

86. a deer grazing

87. cinnamon candles

88. His words that make me want to KNOW more

89. His love that makes me want to BE more

Not so Mrs. Nice Gal....

Did you ever think you knew someone and then all of a sudden, as you look deeper, you find out that that someone is not as nice as you thought they were? This week that was me..... in the world of Sarai (AKA Sarah).

In my mind of children's parables and bible stories I have always thought of Sarah as a wonderful woman used by God to help fulfill God's story by giving birth to Isaac. God fulfilling a promise He made to Sarah and Abraham. I am not sure why my brain did not remember the rest of the story (as Paul Harvey would say). Imagine my surprise when I found out some other things that were going on here....

It all started with a promise in Genesis 15:

² But Abram said, "O Sovereign LORD, what can you give me since I remain childless and the one who will inherit ^c]">[c] my estate is Eliezer of Damascus?" ³ And Abram said, "You have given me no children; so a servant in my household will be my heir."

⁴ Then the word of the LORD came to him: "This man will not be your heir, but a son coming from your own body will be your heir." ⁵ He took him outside and said, "Look up at the heavens and count the stars—if indeed you can count them." Then he said to him, "So shall your offspring be."

⁶ Abram believed the LORD, and he credited it to him as righteousness.

We quickly see that as time rolls on...impatience sets in.....and Sarah starts taking matters in her own hands. Forgetting the promise that was given~she tried to fix it herself. I am sure she had the best of intentions at the time~right? Genesis 16:

¹ Now Sarai, Abram's wife, had borne him no children. But she had an Egyptian maidservant named Hagar; ² so she said to Abram, "The LORD has kept me from having children. Go, sleep with my maidservant; perhaps I can build a family through her."
Abram agreed to what Sarai said. ³ So after Abram had been living in Canaan ten years, Sarai his wife took her Egyptian maidservant Hagar and gave her to her husband to be his wife. ⁴ He slept with Hagar, and she conceived.

I am sure that Abraham had the best of intentions too cause he probably just wanted to please his wife (Ahem- yeah ok)...moving on.... So Sarah takes matters into her own hands and here is where it happens- just like the Jefferson Starship song- the storms start brewing in her eyes.

This is why Sarah should have been careful about what she asked for- cause low and behold - SHE GOT IT! Then she found out she didn't want it-but it was too late to turn back:

When she knew she was pregnant, she began to despise her mistress. ⁵ Then Sarai said to Abram, "You are responsible for the wrong I am suffering. I put my servant in your arms, and now that she knows she is pregnant, she despises me. May the LORD judge between you and me."

Now we see her true colors shining through. Does she look inward and see what she's done?...no...instead she looks outward and blames everybody else. She treated Hagar like an outcast, causing her to flee for her safety. Sarah doesn't seem to be such a wonderful woman destined to fulfill God's promise for her and Abraham now...does she?

Perhaps this bothers me so, because I can look at her and see me in the reflection. How many times do I stand on the promises of my Savior, only to try to make things happen on my own. It is me, at times, failing to make things happen and then I blame everyone around me and make them help me "fix it". And yes, it is me, who runs to the phone before humbling myself at His throne- and patiently waiting for His promises to be fulfilled in my life.

This story is not without hope though. I see a promise in it that shines brighter than my pride.

Like Sarah, we do not have to be perfect for God to love us and use us for His purpose. So, if he can use a woman like her...there just may be hope for me yet!

All I have to do is:

I Want To Be Just Like Her....

When I look at her life before children...its like looking in a mirror.

She had much love in her life. Her husband loved her so much, I don't think it mattered to him whether they had children or not. He loved her regardless. It reminds me of my dear husband and how much he loves me, regardless of our barrenness.

However, with joy, comes sorrow. Yes, she was loved but she was also grieved by what she did not have. During certain seasons in my life, I feel the same way. This time of year is hard for me. Six years ago at this time, hubby and I were expecting. Unfortunately, we did not have a happy ending. We still remain barren. Mostly because of fear. Fear of "what if" it happens again. We are hesitant to step back onto the roller coaster of emotions that we have experienced in the past. We have grown, though, in ways that may not have been possible if we have not traveled down this path.

I believe that Hannah knew all about that. I believe she experienced the full spectrum of emotions that I have been through and still go through at times. We read in 1 Samuel how she cried out to God in her anguish. So much so, that at times, she couldn't even make full words or sentences come out of her mouth. She never took her eyes of God. I envy her.

In the midst of her sorrow she vowed to God, that if he would bless her with a child, she would give that child back to Him. To make a long story short, she did and without hesitation. Because of her faithfulness she was blessed with much more. Looking at her story, its hard to imagine praying for something so hard and then in the end having to lose it all over again. In hindsight, that is what we did, though. We ended up giving him or her back to the one who created them. I find comfort in that now~ after all these years. We did not at the time freely do that- like Hannah did. That is where our story differs.

Hannah was so many things that I desire to be. I keep telling myself to take it one day at a time- I am still a work in progress. Hannah had so many beautiful characteristics- no wonder the Lord was gracious to her....

She was a woman of her word...(trustworthy)

She was faithful......(she never stopped communing with her Savior)

She was nurturing....(after she gave Samuel over to God and left him with Eli she contained to pray for her son and to visit him once a year)

She was sensitive...(her husbands other wife taunted her when she was barren-driving her to tears many times-she always went to the Lord with her grief and her tears though)

She was loving......(she loved her family with all her heart and soul and never stopped praying and caring for them-even when they were out of her sight)

I look at her story and I want to be like her. I want to run to my Savior first and not wallow in my pain and grief. I want to nurture those around me and show them how good God really is. I want to allow myself to be sensitive so that I can help someone else who may going through a rough time. I want Him to use me like he used Hannah- for His glory. I want others to see Him in me, like I see Him in her.

Help me, Lord. To be just like her.......

Abigail- Peacemaker or Push-over?

Abigail didn't live an easy life. Chances were she married for money and wealth and that got her a whole lot of nowhere.

1 Samuel 25:3 tells us that her husband, Nabal, was surly and mean in his dealings. I am sure that didn't stop with his "business dealings". He probably wasn't the easiest person to live with. She probably put up with alot from the man whose name means "Fool".

But it never stopped her from protecting her own. It didn't change who she was deep down inside. In fact, it made her stronger.

When we first meet Abigail, she shows up as no more than Nabal's wife. It doesn't take long to see she really is so much more.

While David was in the desert, he and his men had protected Nabal and his sheep by making a wall around Nabal and his property. Come sheep-shearing time all David wanted was some food and water for him and his men.

But that Nabal, was a fool. Without a second to think, he got right up on his high-horse and asked why he should give up what he had for only God knows who.

Nabal answered David's servants, "Who is this David? Who is this son of Jesse? Many servants are breaking away from their masters these days. 11 Why should I take my bread and water, and the meat I have slaughtered for my shearers, and give it to men coming from who knows where?" 1 Samuel 25:10-11

You can only imagine how that sat with David when he got word of Nabal's response. He immediately began heading in Nabal's direction to take the wind right out of Nabal's and his mens sails.

Fearing the wrath of Nabal's actions, one of the servants ran to Abigail to intervene. Without a moment of hesitation she was on her way to meet David and his men to make peace. She knew her husbands attitude had risked all his holdings and placed her in a difficutl position- yet her dependence did not did not lay in her husband but with God.

Abigail lost no time. She took two hundred loaves of bread, two skins of wine, five dressed sheep, five seahs of roasted grain, a hundred cakes of raisins and two hundred cakes of pressed figs, and loaded them on donkeys. Then she told her servants, "Go on ahead; I'll follow you." But she did not tell her husband Nabal. 1 Samuel 25:18-19

As soon as she reached David she fell to her knees, her face to the ground and begged.....

She fell at his feet and said: "My lord, let the blame be on me alone. Please let your servant speak to you; hear what your servant has to say. 25 May my lord pay no attention to that wicked man Nabal. He is just like his name—his name is Fool, and folly goes with him. But as for me, your servant, I did not see the men my master sent. 1 Samuel 25:24-25

She understood that David was doing God's work, and she supported that. David was amazed at Abigail's faith and praised her for her quick actions. Her words reminded David of the bigger picture.

Please forgive your servant's offense, for the LORD will certainly make a lasting dynasty for my master, because he fights the LORD's battles. Let no wrongdoing be found in you as long as you live. 1 Samuel 25:28

David turned aside his wrath because of Abigail's response. But while she was making peace, Nabal was throwing a party. When she returned, he was drunk, so she waited til the next morning to inform him of what she had done. He went ballistic, threw a fit and ended up dying, probably from a heart attack or a stroke.

Once David heard of Nabal's death he sent for Abigail and asked her to become his wife. Here we see her move from a fools wife to a king's bride.

In Abigail, we see how intelligent and how faithful she was. She did not let a difficult relationship get in the way of her walk with the Lord. And she didn't let it change who she was. We see how she let God bring peace and tranquility to her situation. And through her story we can also see that once we've passed through the troubles, God gives us a better life that we ever expected.

Who are the Nabal's in your life and do you react like Abigail when confronted?

Summers last hoo-rah....

This morning I took a moment to relish in summers last hoo-rah....please walk through the garden with me....

67. dew drops and daisies....

68. one last picking.......

69. things that look complicated...but still are so beautiful....

70. hope of what is to come...

71. the unexpected.....
May your weekend be filled with unexpected blessings.......

Still counting my blessings

I know its been a while...please forgive me. With the changing of the season comes more things to occupy my time it seems. Youth group kicks off again...and I feel like I am in a whirl wind of chaos. A good kind of chaos, though. Even so, I am still counting all those many blessings around me...

58. deer who quietly cross my path on my way to work

59. the crispness in the air that seems to breath new life into me

60. Paths He makes straight for me....61. His beautiful seasonal decorations.....

62. His light shining bright in my darkness...
63. Fresh peach pie...

64. a retreat with the Father of my heart and soul.....

65. the smiles on the faces of the children that I help lead

66. for the gift of time

Lord, thank you for these gifts, may I never ever take a single one for granted. This is the cry of my heart. In your name, Amen!

Out of My Hands

There is a parable of a rich young man who comes to Jesus asking what he must do to get eternal life.

Jesus' answer was simple and to the point. "Obey my commandments".

I snicker at this mans response..."Well which ones?"

My response to the rich young man would probably have been a little more sarcastic than Jesus' response.... I would've said something like..."Try ALL OF THEM, Buddy!"

But Jesus was calm, cool and collected and listed them out for Him. Of course, the rich young man said that He already upholds all those commandments so, why does he still lack?

Jesus then goes on to explain that if he wants to be perfect he should go and sell all his possessions and give them to the poor and then he should go and follow him. When the young man heard this he lowered his head and walked away. His valuables were too "valuable" to him.

His disciples were astonished at this and then kept asking him "Well then who can be saved? And what will we be left with?"

And Jesus in his infinite wisdom says the most beautiful words I have ever heard...

"With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible!"

Beautiful words that I needed to hear at just the right time...at just the right moment.

Lately I have been lacking. Worried and consumed with thoughts that I am not where I should be in my walk with my Savior. I have been trying to do it on my own and not letting God lead. Trying in my own strength and not giving it over to Him and allowing Him to strengthen me. He lead me to this passage and it was here that I realized that no matter how much I try I will never be worthy of all that he offers me. Much like this young man- nothing I ever do will be enough. Nothing I can ever do or be can change what He wants for me. He has already done it all.

And now when I am still I hear Him whisper so quietly to my soul...

"Take it out of your hands and place it into mine....."

And I say "Thank you, Jesus!"

Seasons

There is a crispness in the air lately.

And it stirs me.

The end of one season and the beginning of another. A dry, hot season being replaced by the cool night air -natures refreshment.

I have been dry lately. Too many things happening -too many questions that I can't find the answers to. Too much of me and not enough focusing on Him. I find it hard sometimes to find the good in all the bad going on around me.

In the last month I have watched people around me go through seasons of change in their life. A co-worker who fought liver cancer with all he had for the last year was cleared of all active cancer cells in his liver only to have the rest of his body shut down and Him to be taken home last week.

A dear woman who was my husbands neighbor when he was growing up has been diagnosed with leukemia and told that she has maybe two months to live. This is two years after she had lost the oldest of her three daughters two years ago to breast cancer. This woman one of the most courageous people I have known and she is never without a smile on her face or a nice word to say to those around her.

Seasons.

Not only in nature but in life.

Physical life. Spiritual life.

Even in the sadness, I catch His refreshment.

We spent Sunday afternoon with the beautiful woman I mentioned above and her family. It may perhaps be the last picnic she will be able to spend with her family and friends. There were no tears- just happy recollections of memories passed. She was always a woman with many talents. She loved to paint, as did her daughter that passed away. She has not picked up a paintbrush since she lost that daughter and a project that they were working on together remains unfinished. She tells me that the spark is gone since her loss. She looks at me and simply says..."When I get to Heaven we will paint together again." To see someone who has known great loss and is in the midst of pain and sickness- she still looks forward to what is to come. To be reunited with those who have gone before her and wait patiently to help guide her into her eternal home with Jesus.

I want to be able to be that kind of person. To place my hope in what is to come and not what is going on around me.

I turned to Ecclesiates the other night when doing my evening devotions. Once again, God knew I must have needed a push. Here the author (Solomon?) resounds with the message that life is not a puzzle to be solved. It reminds us to view life as God's good gift to us, rather than to bog down in the analysis of our life and circumstances. God wants us to enjoy life and to find purpose and meaning to it. But the only way he can accomplish His purpose is when we allow Him to fill the emptiness of our searching hearts with himself.

My prayer is that he does just that for me...fill me in this season until my cup is overflowing.

There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven:
a time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to uproot,
a time to kill and a time to heal, a time to tear down and a time to build,
a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance,
a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them, a time to embrace and a time to refrain,
a time to search and a time to give up, a time to keep and a time to throw away,
a time to tear and a time to mend, a time to be silent and a time to speak,
a time to love and a time to hate, a time for war and a time for peace.

Ecclesiastes 3:1-8

More Gratitude Gifts

46. lunchtime laughter with a cherished friend.
47. forgiving hearts
48. a day of absolutely nothing, yet filled with everything.
49. the aged hands of my earthly father who loves to help me garden
50. the love of a man that God set aside just for me
51. the gift of choice
52. a heart that loves to make others smile
53. mornings spent in devotion
54. the gift of prayer
55. learning to move past insecurities that try to hold me back
56. for a bench to rest
57. for a song in my heart

**this list is a continuation of the Gratitude Gifts list that Ann has going on over at Holy Experience. To learn more about it please click on the 1000 Gifts link on the right hand side of my page.

Do you think He's trying to tell me something?

Lately, I have been wrestling with some things. I have been having a hard time giving things over to God.

Why? I don't know...He above anyone can certainly handle the issues I struggle with better than I can.

Other times I think I should be farther along than where I am at in my faith journey. I want to know more, I want to do more and then ....I procrastinate.

Then I struggle to hear God's voice in the midst of my chaos and I wonder is it Him? Or is it my head making something else out of it?

Well, a few months back I had taken on Proverbs 3:5-6 as my "scripture for my season":

Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding;
in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.

Whenever I let my worries get the best of me...I say it to myself to help me get my thinking back on track. So as I was driving home last Thursday...I was saying this to myself and as I said it I looked up and there it was....

a period.

And just as clear as day I heard "Why are you putting a question mark where I put a period?"

A Wolf in Sheeps Clothing

Isn't it funny how certain things look so good from a distance but when your up close you realize that there is really a bad thing lurking behind a seemingly innocent facade?

Well meet the wolf....
Or ......
"Satan in feathers" as my dear hubby calls him.

This little bugger (well actully he is not so little...) has been trying to dine in our pond the last few days. And I am sad to say that he has gotten a few of our beautiful koi. Some that we have had over 8 years.

You see he is beautiful...but he comes to kill and destroy.

AND

He is pretty smart...hanging out on a neighbors fence to see if we are around......

Then when we least expect it....he comes in for the kill.

However....now he can't figure out what the heck we did to his smorgasboard. Between you and me...we covered it. Now lets see him try to get them!

This guy is a beautiful creature however, he wreaks havoc here at the homestead. He causes panic and confusion...in the fish....and in hubby. Hubby tends to our finned children like his life depends on it. He nurses them back to health when they are sick and heals their wounds when they are hurt.

This reminds me so much of my faith journey. Things look real good at the time.

You know what I mean....

"Oh, I really want to watch that show.....I will do my devotions a little later". A little later comes and goes and guess what? I am too tired and end up falling asleep.

or

"Just this once....it won't hurt to do that. It seems innocent"

Later the panic, the fear, the desperation creeps in. Wondering why you can't handle the everyday. Next thing you know everything that once seemed beautiful has wreaked havoc in your heart and soul.

Wondering....how do you protect the innocence that used to be there? How to protect that which God has given you?

Simple....

You cover yourself in prayer...you cover yourself in His Word and cover yourself in God's love. And just like my hubby tends to his finned children like his life depends on it...God tends to us like His Life depended on it.

oh..thats right..... it did!

"The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full." John 10:10

and the list grows on....

38. words that revive a dry parched soul.

39. a night shared with young teenage girls who teach me more than I teach them.

40. rain that revives a thirsty garden.

41. meeting friends who are looking for more of Him and who encourage me on my journey.

42. a new life born.

43. reconnecting with old friends who have lost touch.

44. fears that subside

45. peace that resides


**this list is a continuation of the Gratitude Gifts list that Ann has going on over at Holy Experience. To learn more about it please click on the 1000 Gifts link on the right hand side of my page.

Strongholds

In the past, when I have thought of the word stronghold, I thought of it as something that holds me back from moving on. Like fear of failure, fear of death, fear of anything holding you back from accomplishing God's will in your life. And according to 2 Corinthians 10:3-5 it can be these things that hold us back.

But ...could there be another definition? One that doesn't make me hide in shame or give up when I feel like I am not worthy of His love?

The dictionary.com 's definition of stronghold is as follows:

A fortified place or a fortress.
A place of survival or refuge

Gee, that word doesn't seem so scary any more. God is these things to me:

A fortified place or a fortress.
A place of survival or refuge

How amazing is that? Pretty darn....I guess sometimes you have to research something that holds you back until it doesn't seem so scary anymore. 'Cause sometimes I am too busy in my own mind instead of getting busy in His Word.

****updated photo of seedlings before transplanting (just for Lyla-lol)

Sweet Sundays

#32- Blue skies in July

#33- Breakthroughs

#34-Natures color wheel

#35- sweet silence to reflect on all our blessings

#36-Contentment

#37-attentiveness to all that surrounds

A Perfect Way to Start the Day

I woke up surrounded in love this morning. The love of two dogs and a cat. Not to mention a hubby that had already rolled out of bed due to lack of room. When I opened my eyes I had a black lab on one side of me and a yellow lab on the other side staring at me with tails waggin'. The cat, well, he of course was curled up by my head purring like crazy in my ear. After saying good mornings, I turned over and reached for my Bible and opened the pages.....

"That is why I am suffering as I am. Yet I am not ashamed, because I know whom I have believed, and am convinced that he is able to guard what I have entrusted to him for that day" 2Timothy 1:12

I must have read over these words many times before, however, they really jumped out at me this morning. What have I entrusted to him for today? What have I been doing each morning? Honestly, I have not been entrusting him with my days. I have been trying to fix, change and handle everything. Now I know why I have been struggling.

So today, a new day. A new way to begin my days from now on. With a little help from my four legged furry children of course........


Lord, today I give you everything. Whatever may come, whatever may not come its okay because you are in control and I am not. Take my worries and hold on to them for me...I trust you with them. Thank you for this great reminder today. Help me hold onto these words all through my days.


#31- Perfect ways to start days

The Master Gardener

Dirt stirred around.

A seed sown.

Covered with soil.

Water to bring life.

The wait begins.

Hopeful anticipation of what is to come, what it will be.



I check them in the morning and then again in the evening. Searching for a stirring, a breakthrough. I wait..not so patiently.

But He is....patient. This is what He does....Patiently watching me...feeding me...waiting for a stirring.

My dirt is stirred. My fears, anxieties and trials are all brought to the potting bench.

A seed is sown. Kind words from a friend sharing a verse to reflect upon.

Covered with soil. Prayers are lifted up and troubles are handed over.

Water brings life. His word, water for my dry soul.

And He watches over me patiently. Waiting for my response to His call. Waiting for me to break through and reach for Him and feel the warmth of His Son.

I spread out my hands to you; my soul thirsts for you like a parched land. Psalm 143:6

Details

Details. Wow! When you stop and really look at things in your ordinary everyday life you realize that there are so many tiny little details that you just don't take notice to on a daily basis.

I was walking around the yard this evening and I noticed. I noticed how detail oriented God really is. Sure, I know he cares about the little things as much as He cares about the big things but He really went above and beyond in pointing things out to me that I may normally overlook in the hurriednss of my day.

Note to self: This is one of the those times He is reminding you to slow down. To stop and notice the details.

Well, I have decided to take you on a tour and join me in some details. Nothing profound just a reminder....

My purple butterfly bush always looks so beautiful when its blooming. The blooms look like they have been strategically placed in a spiral pattern up the stem. And just how did God get that orange dot perfectly placed in the center of each tiny flower?

My yellow butterfly bush which is right next to the purple one makes me smile when I look at it. It is just now starting to bloom. This one looks like yellow pom poms.

My obedient plant. (that is really the name of it). I bought it as a reminder to be obedient to His calling in my life. It looks so delicate but since I have planted it I have found out that this plant can be quite invasive in some growing zones. Just one more reminder to me that I have to tame my humaness and rely more on Him.

Our sitting area by the koi pond. My favorite place to just sit and listen to everything all around me. The sound of the water can put me to sleep!

My little kids-lol. These are our Koi and yes, I have them all named. They are all so different and have so many bright colors. They even have different personalities. They love to be hand fed and love to be petted. Once again, a reminder that we are all different shapes and colors and personalities but God made us all. We also all long to be loved.

So this evening I am thanking Him for the details of my life. He knows every one of them by heart. He reminds me that with Him anything is possible.

Gratitude gift #30

Just Because....

When I was a little girl I remember being so full of questions and my parents having to try and answer those questions to the best of their ability. They were always so patient with me...they still are. Sometimes the answers were very well thought out and explained and at other times it was a simple "Just because, honey".

The older I get the more I realize that more and more of my why questions are answered with "just because". Little by little I am realizing that not everything makes sense in my very very small perspective of things. To some questions I may get real tangible answers but other questions may not be explainable to my human mind. However, the "just because" works to put peace in my heart.

Why has this happened?

"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways," declares the Lord. (Isaiah 55:8)


He whispers to me "just because" so that I give my fears and anxieties over to Him. He tells me that it is not always going to make sense.

But HE does. HE makes perfect sense....and right now, that's all I need to know!



"We live by faith...not by sight!" (2 Corinthians 5:7)

Why?

The big questions in life still stifle me.

They hold me back from completely trusting in the One I cannot see.

I know He is there to carry us through, but why has this happened? What did we do?

There is pain all around us. Children dying of cancer, senseless shootings and more sadness and despair than I remember ever seeing. What is becoming of the world around me? And why doesn't He just make it all go away?

I believe that this the biggest obstacle I have in my journey into a deeper relationship with my Heavenly Father. How can He watch while His loved ones perish?

But as I strive to chase after Him harder, to get to know Him better I am amazed at what I find. I find glimpses of His work all around. His perfect will in the midst of chaos. And I am brought to my knees.

"Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know." Jeremiah 33:3

The Truth

FEAR

AKA False Evidence Appearing Real

Fear can paralyze a person from doing just about everything. Years ago, I was almost to the point of being afraid to go out of the house. I was scared of everything. I knew I could not live the rest of my life that way. Thank God I had a great support system to help me through my anxieties and fears.

I am only human and because of that I still do fear things at times. I worry about a lot of nothing....and a lot of everything that is beyond my control. But step by step it is getting easier to give it over to God. One of the big things that I have struggled with from time to time is the thought of death. Not only for me but my loved ones. I know I will be in a better place, however, I would worry about how I was going to "meet my maker" so to say. Like I have control over that!

Anyway, I have been trying to tackle some subjects that have me puzzled from time to time. I have been asking God to work with me and help me gain some wisdom and understanding in areas that have been holding me back from getting closer to Him.

One thing I am aware of recently is that if I am focusing on my fears, insecurities and anxieties...I am not focusing on HIM.

WHAMMO!

I mean I knew that in my head but its taken a while for my heart to catch up. Everything that causes me to fear is really something that is truly false but appears real.

How do I conteract that? By going to the TRUTH. And you know what I am finding out?

The source of that TRUTH has never lied to me. Ever.

Yesterday while spending sometime in the glorious TRUTH I came across a verse that spoke volumes to my heart.

"Since the children have flesh and blood, he too shared in their humanity so that by His death he might destroy him who holds the power to death-that is the devil- and free all those who all their lives were held in slavery by their fear of death." Hebrews 2:14-15 (NIV)

Or as Eugene Peterson would translate:

"Since the children are made of flesh and blood, its logical that the Savior took on flesh and blood in order to rescue them by his death. By embracing death, taking it into himself, he destroyed the devils hold on death and freed all who cower through life, scared to death of death."

There is no reason to walk around and cowering down to life. I am looking up...up to the one who gave me this beautiful life...this abundant life.

Trusting in the TRUTH with my heart while my head lets go of the fear that holds me back from enjoying the life he so graciously gave me.....

Sweet Words # 29

I have a confession to make.

I have a hard time some days making sense of my heavenly Fathers words to me. I read verses that just seem to go over my head and make my mind spin. Sometimes I feel like his words aren't even for me.....they are for everyone else but me. I mean, how could he love me and want the best for me? He, above anyone at all, knows all my faults and insecurities, so how could he love me that much?

I get sidetracked way too easily lately. I sit down to read my bible and my mind goes crazy. Stirring with all the things I need to do or should be doing instead of sitting still. It always seems that I feel I need to get everything done first and then I will be able to focus on His Word. But what has been happening is I become too tired by the time I get those things done and I end up falling asleep before I even open up the pages of His Word. How embarrassing! After all he has done for me and here I have trouble fitting Him into my hectic life. EEK!

So, Him and I had a one on one conversation last night. It went something like this....

Me: Ok, Lord. I am going to open your book of wisdom and I really need your help. Please let me understand what you want me to get out of it tonight.

HIM: I will show you but will you take it in? Will you listen? Will you seek it earnestly or are you going through the motions?

Me: Ouch!

With that, I turned to Proverbs Chapter 2:1-5. And it became clearer to me than it has ever been...

"My Son, if you accept my words and store up commands within you, turning your ear to wisdom and applying your heart to understanding and if you call out for insight and cry loud for understanding and if you look for it as for silver and search for it as hidden treasure- then you will understand the fear of the Lord and find the knowledge of God."

Once again I am amazed at how well he knows my heart. I tend to not apply myself....I just want things to be easy. Here I see that I have to apply my heart and my mind and earnestly seek Him in a new way. I have to "chase" Him if you will, instead of letting Him "chase" after me.

So, today is a new day! A new way to look at Him and His words for you and me. Lets seek after them as if we are searching for hidden treasure~ I know what we will find will be more valuable than gold!

Thank you, Lord, for your word, for your wisdom and your love. It is you that I long to please today and everday.....help me make you priority # 1. Amen

**Please please please keep Melissa Taylor's mother (Becky Nunn) in your prayers today as she is undergoing surgery. Click here to read more of her story... http://melissataylorp31.blogspot.com/

Thanks!

For the love of lavender

As I was leaving my house yesterday, I was greeted by the sweet smell of lavender welcoming me to a new day. I smiled.

Heaven Scent.

Lavender has become one of my favorite plants. It intrigues me.

It gives off a fragrance that makes me smile. Lightens my load. Although it emits a sweet scent on its own-its fragrance becomes so much sweeter and overwhelming when it is touched.

How ironic.

I am so much sweeter when I am touched by Him and His Word. I have been touched by my Savior...does it show?

For we are a fragrance of Christ to God among those who are being saved and among those who are perishing~2 Corinthians 2:15

Can others scents his sweet fragrance all around me? Do I lighten their load?

Heaven Scent.

Bright, beautiful flowers emerge from plain, tall green spikes. They are connected to the stem that gives them life.

Abide in Me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself unless it abides in the vine, so neither can you unless you abide in Me. ~ John 15:4

I become brighter and more beautiful on the inside when I am connected to Him. Each moment I spend with Him...I am changing. Looking for Him in the ordinary.....everyday.

Yesterday He came out of my love for lavender.

Thank you, Lord for moments like this. Gratitude gift # 28

Truly Heaven Scent.

Thursdays- Gratitude gift # 27

Well Thursdays have become my favorite day of the week. It all started almost 3 years ago with this fantastic group of people.

This is when it all started. Each and every Thursday we have a group of 5-6 teenaged gals who bombard our house to eat dinner with us and kick our butts in games all night. If you have read yesterdays post you will know that these gals hold a very special place in my heart that no one else will ever be able to fill. These gals are between the ages of 18-21 (almost) and they spend almost every Thursday with us just hanging out and being crazy.

I cannot imagine my life without them and I thank God each day for every one of them! ;)

First camping trip this season!

Dice Night

Gift of Friends- Gratitude Gift #26

Twenty three years ago, I started working at a 1-hour photo lab in the heart of Hershey. Who would have thought that working in the the sweetest place on earth would lead me into a family of friends that I will forever be tied to. My sister introduced me to the owners of the lab, Kaye and Eric and at 14 I began working part time for them while going to school. They had a son, David, who was about 1 at the time...he was full of firecrackers and giggles - I can still hear his deep giggle when he would be tickled under his chin. A few years later, their daughter Trish was born. Both children were no strangers to the photo lab. I still remember running photos through the machines while Trish was hanging from my hip. They were there everyday when I would go in to work, and I would pick them up and take them for slushy's at Turkey Hill. They would play in the back until it was time for them to go home...and then we would do it all over again the next day. We experienced many things together.....chicken pox, a robbery, getting over a Santa phobia, and too many others to mention. As the years rolled by, we became more and more like family. I got to see their sports activities and I got to know their friends. They saw me grow up and get married. I worked for Kaye and Eric for 14 years until they made the tough decision of shutting down the lab. This was a hard transition to deal with at first, but in the end it was the best decision they could make. I worked a few other places and for about 2 years we sort of parted ways. Then one day I was talking to Kaye on the phone and she ended up helping me get a job with her at Food Distributor in our area. From the day I started working with her again - it was like we never had lost touch.

We all started camping together and the kids started bringing their friends. Before you know it we had over six families, camping and vacationing together over the last 9 years. David is now almost 21 and Trisha is 18 and graduating today. These kids and their group of friends are like the children Shannon (my hubby) and I never had. While I am so happy that they have grown up to be such wonderful young adults my heart is sad at the same time to see all these wonderful years go by in the blink of an eye.

I am and always will be, forever grateful to Kaye and Eric for allowing me to be a part of their lives and family and for creating this circle of friends that now I hold so dear to my heart.

Weeding

We recently got a shed that we are making into a potting shed/koi pond supply shed. Last night I began landscaping around the shed and I had loved every moment of it. This is one of my favorite things to do in the world. I love the look of a freshly planted garden. Fresh dirt, weed free garden~what more could a gal ask for? Maybe for it to stay that way- FOREVER! (lol).

As I was planting I was reminded how much gardening is like our faith journey. Once we are saved, we are fresh, new, weed-free and ready to grow and flourish. However, if we leave our faith unattended we start to notice little weeds invading our freshly planted garden. Doubt and fear start to choke out trust and faith. Before we know it- we can't even see the gardens beauty anymore...it just looks like a bed of thistles and overgrown ivy. If we don't spend time daily in the garden and tend to the weeds before we know it- the job becomes too overwhelming.

How true this is for me in regards to my faith journey. I become overwhelmed some days, too busy to take the time for weed prevention (spending time in God's Word). Before I know it- I feel ugly, useless, and fearful...and the list goes on.

But isn't it funny how one little verse can pull a stem of fear, a thistle of anxiety and turn it into a glimpse of hope and joy? He is the best gardener of all time and I long to be just like Him.

Tuesday, Beautiful Tuesday

24. A morning shower followed by bright rays of sunshine...what a great way to start the day! I have so many things to be thankful for so its time I focus on them.

When I started this blog I really wanted to use it as an outlet and a journal per se. I used to love to write and to put pen to paper and get all my feelings out. I thought this would be one way of getting my thoughts out and worked through. What I didn't realize is how many beautiful people I would meet on this journey.

I have met some really inspiring, compassionate people that move me to tears as well as make me laugh. I would have never had the chance of meeting them had it not been for this bloggy world. It is so nice to know that when you are going through a "valley" or a "storm" of some sort, others are praying you through it- that is so amazing to me!

Lately, I have been focusing a little too much on the negative and too little on the positive. That is going to change. Training myself to stand on the promises of God, instead of my worries and fears has always been a struggle for me but I know it doesn't have to be. I know God has plans for me- I do not need to know what they are- I just have to be open to His leading and that is what I plan on doing.

25. So, thanks to those of you who have commented and emailed me - just know that God has used you in a big way. Your encouraging words have brightened some really dreary days and I am so thankful!


"Fix your thoughts on what is true and honorable and right. Think about things that are pure and lovely and admirable." Philippians 4:8

Living in Fear

I have to admit. I have been in quite a funk lately. I am tired, tired of living in fear. I know I am not supposed to live this way and I have been working to correct it but it is hard at times to change a lifetime of anxieties.

I have always been anxious and fearful. In second grade my mom would have to literally tear me off of her side when she took me to school. In fourth grade I had the honor of waking up every Tuesday and Thursday at 4 am feeling sick to my stomach because I knew I had swim lessons and the teacher had already threw me in the deep water before I knew how to swim. My parents made sure it didn't happen again but then I was forced to walk around the pool the entire class while the rest of the students had their class. Then in 5th grade I was scared to death to walk home from school after hearing on the news that some guy was stopping and trying to entice kids into his van in a nearby town. When I finally did get up the nerve to walk home-some older boy threatened to beat me up after school- well that did it. Poor mom came and picked me up from school everyday after that.

Middle & High school was better. But I still had the occasional worries and anxieties. Like worrying about my parents getting sick and dying. I worried that I would have cancer at the slightest tinge of pain. I worried that I would grow up alone, and die a single old spinster. You name it I worried about it.

After high school, I sort of went out on my own. My relationship with God became a little more distant. I became engaged to my high school boyfriend and ended up moving in with him against my parents wishes. This broke my heart. Then about a year later, I went back to them broken and ashamed of the choices that I had made. The relationship did not work out- and I crawled back home. They welcomed me home with open arms and hearts and helped me through a very rough time. By that time I was into going out to clubs, I love to country -western dance. I was at a local club probably 5 out of 7 days. My parents still talk about how they prayed me home every night. During those couple of years, I made bad choices. Looking for love and acceptance where none could be found. I am terribly ashamed of many of the choices that I made during these years of my life. I cannot go back and change the things I have said or done but I have asked God for forgiveness and for help to have me move on. I remember one night just saying "God, help me move past this. I do not want to be 60 years old doing the same things over and over again!"

Like an answer to prayer, my life started changing around. The Lord brought an old school mate back into my life. We began to date, we got involved in a church and here we are 9 1/2 years later still learning to rely on God.

Some things though I have a harder time changing. I still worry. Sometimes more than others. My husband has been a great support system~he married me knowing all my fears and insecurities. We have been married for 8 1/2 years and the Lord has gotten us through many a hard time! Over 6 years ago, we found out we were going to be parents. Wow! We were excited, scared and many other emotions rolled up into one. Then on Thanksgiving Day, we miscarried and ever since then, I have been afraid to try again. I fear getting pregnant, then I fear not getting pregnant again and never having a child of our own. I fear one of us getting sick, I fear our parents getting older and worry about their future. We help lead the youth in our church and I fear for them in this day and age and what their future holds. I pray everyday for the decisions that they make in their lives and I pray that the Lord leads them and that they are open to go where He calls them.

Needless to say, I am so tired of living in worry and fear. I know I am not meant to live this way but sometimes I find it a little harder than others to get out of the pit that I tend to get myself in. But God sends sweet reminders to me and I am forever grateful. Here are some more of my gratitude gifts:

19. A post I ran across that made me heart sing this morning. What a great reminder.

20. A turtle dove gathering sticks and such to make a nest for her young. Another sweet reminder that he takes care of those birds so he will take care of me too!

21. Gathering of friends and loved ones to just enjoy each others company.

22. The ability to get up this morning and take in the sweet fresh air.

23. Knowing in my heart that God has always taken care of me and He will never fail me.

Learning day by day, and moment by moment to give my yoke of fear over to Him!
Have a wonderful weekend!
Julie

Lazy Saturday morning

Today I had the privilege of sleeping in a little longer than usual. But when I woke up I was greeted by a beautiful day waiting for me. As I stepped out my back door to let the dog out, the most beautiful red winged blackbird was singing a song just for me. It made me smile. So I decided to sit on the back porch, read a devotion and take in all the sights and sounds this morning offers. Too many to try and remember so, I grabbed the laptop and here I am. Looks like the endless gifts that I might normally miss are being showered upon me this morning. Thank you, Lord.

13. The song of a red winged black-bird beckoning to the sun

14. The brightest color cardinal I have ever seen singing back-up for him

15. A gentle breeze that kisses my cheek

16. The leaves of the maple tree pushing their way through to see what the world has to offer.

17. The sounds of the waterfall (from the koi pond) that remind me how Gods love contiuously washes over me.

18. A dog that doesn't let me sit too long before telling me that she is ready to be fed! She keeps me moving whether I like it or not-lol.

Endless Gifts

I stopped over to a blog earlier today and came across the neatest challenge. A challenge to start seeing all the special blessings and gifts in your life. I loved it. So, I will be posting lists from time to time to help me get to where I recognize 1000 or more gifts in just the everyday.

As I was reading over some of my older posts I noticed that I have taken some time to see gifts in my everyday, ordinary world. So I will go through and list those first.

1. For my Lord and Savior and the sweet bursts of sunflowers that He send my way in late summer.

2. My wonderful, beautiful husband that loves me regardless of my many faults.

3. Songs that remind me how lost I would be without Him.

4. The love of my family and friends

5. My sense of humor.

6. My four-footed, furry children who love me unconditionally.

7. His Word that gives me new treasures each and every time I read it.

8. My beautiful parents who have provided the perfect example of love.

9. The brightest colored blue-bird that reminds me that my God loves and cares for even me.

10. The smell of spring and all its promises

11. Simplicity

12. Fall sunrises over misty waters

I can't wait to see how the list proceeds now that I will be consciously looking for the beauty in the ordinary. If your visiting and are working on your own list let me know- I would love to check them out!

looking at the everyday in a new light......

julie

A Camping We Will Go!

Well it is that time of year again! Its time for us to get the ole camper ready and head out for some weekend fun with some very good friends. Last week we were camping in a big cabin with family and this weekend we will be out in the camper sitting by a camp fire taking in all the sights and smells of spring!

My best friend and I were talking at lunch today. As we walked out of the office, and we took a deep breath of the fresh spring air, I said that I think that Heaven must smell like spring! She totally agreed. The smell of all that was dead over a long dreary season comes alive with the brights colors and refreshing smells of life beginning anew. If I haven't said it before (yes I know I have)...I LOVE SPRING!

We are so looking forward to going out in our campers first trip of the season. This is where it all starts - a camping season full of good friends, food and laughter. I love it- and I never ever want to take it for granted!

Let us go early to the vineyards to see if the vines have budded, if their blossoms have opened, and if the pomegranates are in bloom— there I will give you my love.

Song of Solomon 7:11-13

Let the mountains sing

God never fails to amaze me. Just when I think that I have it all figured out- I realize that I don't. Hubby and I spent a long Easter weekend with friends and family upstate at a cabin. I was so looking forward to this weekend for a while. I love our trips to the mountains-God never ceases to amaze me with His handiwork. I was hoping to spend some time alone with Him - and do some much needed catching up. But needless to say...He had other ideas in mind and in the end it worked out to be for the best.

In a cabin filled with almost 30 people its hard to find some quiet alone time with God. I went to my bedroom but the floors and wall are so thin that my thoughts were drowned out by my nephews who were having tons of fun downstairs. I tried to go for a walk by myself to just breathe and think but that was not part of His plan either. My little 4 year old nephew wanted to join me in the worst way- I could not say no. He wanted to spend time with me, just like I wanted to spend time with God. So, we walked. And talked. More walking...more talking and I loved it. We talked about all the different trees and buds that were starting to burst. We talked about how God made them all. "Why did God make them?" he asked. I simply said "Because He loves us so much"

"Jesus loves me!" Jon exclaimed.
"Yes, he sure does!" I replied.

Then we walked back in silence to the cabin. Sure, it wasn't what I thought I needed that morning but it definitely surpassed my expectations.

Then Hubby, Dad and 3 cousins took off that afternoon in search of some waterfalls and what we found made us speechless.

"I don't care what anyone says...there is nothing like looking at Gods handiwork here in the mountains!" Dad said as-a-matter-of -factly.

I couldn't agree with him more!

One thing I know is that you don't have to go certain places to see the God all around you. He is everywhere but some places sure do make the view so much sweeter!

Let the rivers clap their hands,

Let the mountains sing together for joy
Psalm 98:8

New Look

Well I changed the look of the blog ...again. I like change...sometimes...lol.

This would be one of the times I actually like it.

Looking forward to going to the mountains this weekend with the family. I have some much needed time to catch up with my heavenly Father. We have a "date" so to say- no distractions.
I hope everyone has a wonderful Easter weekend.

julie

;)

Springtime...well maybe...

Here in Pennsylvania the weather has been a little unpredictable lately. About 3 weeks ago I was so proud of myself. My father and I had gotten in our garden and got all our "early" crops in. We planted spring onions, sugar peas, lettuce, cabbage, and cauliflower. Well let just say... apparently it was too early (for some unknown reason) because within two weeks of us planting we ended up having a cold spell that lasted for just about a week. Long enough to make my cabbage and cauliflower plants shrivel up into nothing.

Well, nothing stops dad. He calls me last week and tells me that he will be going and getting some more cabbage and cauliflower plants and will plant them the following day while I am work. I come home from work on Friday to find a nicely planted garden bed with beautiful looking plants. And now once again, the cold has decided to return. Tonight Dad came over and we covered our crops and are hoping for the best. He goes on to tell me that he never had problems planting around this time in all his 80 years. I smile and say- it must be me! We giggle and laugh over the changing of the weather and season.

I love spring. I love planting and watching everything come to life. However, I think what I love more is the time I get to spend with my Father during this time of year. He loves to come over to my house and help me tend the garden. I have to be honest...its his garden- I plant one because I know he loves to tend to it. I love that he loves to tend to it. I love the way we work together and the way he tells me this and that needs to be done. He is the epitome of what I think my Heavenly Father is. He loves me....and he loves tending me and my garden. I cherish every moment that we share together. And I thank my Heavenly Father for the gift of my wonderful parents to share these special seasons together.

I look at my earthly Father and see how much he loves me and I am amazed that my heavenly Father loves me more than that. ...

If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him! (Matthew 7)

Thank you Jesus

Springtime

I love Spring! I love the smell, the sights and the sounds of it. I love how after a long season of cold, damp weather everything around springs to life once again. Making all things new. Everything that has died off has regained new life and vibrancy. I have started some seeds of some of the perennials that I want to plant in a new flower bed that I am creating and I have been so excited over the sprouts that I think my hubby is ready to send me to the loony bin. I must look at them dozens of times a day....just to see their progress. I love the thought of how one tiny dried up seed can sprout fresh and new with a little nurturing and water. God does the same thing to me. Just when I think I am all dried up he waters me and nurtures me with his love and I feel like a new person all over again. I sprout forth with new energy and new life that I want to pass on.

This week was a hard one. My sister was rushed to the hospital with abdominal pain and she ended up needing emergency surgery to remove a cyst that had cut off the blood supply to her right ovary. Thank God- she came through everything ok -she is a little sore but she is feeling much better. We just wait now to make sure the biopsy is clean of cancer. I am strong when a crisis hits -its the after effects that aren't so pretty. So the day after she was sent home from the hospital I spent on an emotional roller coaster. Complete with what-if thinking and worry...neither one solve the problem of course...just end up making things worse. It is in these seasons that I end up feeling dried up. But today he showered me with his love and I am feeling better and better each minute knowing he is in control. Once again- he met me in my winter season and is showing me his love anew. Yes, its springtime alright...not just outside.....but also in my heart!!!

:)

Beautiful Blue Bird

This morning on my way to work, amidst all the dreariness of a cold winter morning, I saw a glimpse of heaven before my eyes. The road I travel to work -winds past fields that house beautiful wildflowers in spring and early summer, and sunflowers in the fall. They give me something to look forward to in the morning. I like to think of them as Gods gift to me each morning. This time of year, however, there is not much to notice or take in. The bushes and brush by the creek look dead and brown, sort of lifeless...and the fields of course have no life springing forth from them. But today, the most beautiful blue bird flew in front of my car and landed to the right of the road, on one of those dead and lifeless branches that sit by the creek. It took my breath away. I so wished I would have had my camera to capture that moment....the beauty and serenity of it all.

It reminded me that in the dead and lifeless moments of our lives...God appears and brings color and life once again. How sweet is his love for us...how much he cares for us.....how he loves to give us gifts for us to relish in. Thank you Jesus for always knowing what I need before I do.

Love

This weekend we celebrated my parents 40th wedding anniversary. What an accomplishment! I am so thankful to the two of them...because they taught me about love. Love for one another and love for Jesus. Words cannot express how much they have given me. I wrote them a letter and read it to them at their surprise party... most of it may not make sense to an outsider but feel free to read! Oh and p.s. Dad will be turning 80 in 2 weeks so we incorporated that also.

Well surprise!
You both are so important to each one of us here today. We are here to celebrate your marriage of 40 years and Dad’s 80th birthday.
It’s hard to believe that over 40 years ago tomorrow your two lives were joined as one. I bet the two of you never realized then exactly how many people’s lives you were going to touch in these 40 years. Because of you both…all of our lives are connected as one. We may not all be family by blood but we are all family by the ties that you two have bound. Each of us have our own special memories of all the things we have done, the laughs we have had, and the tears that we have shared. We have all felt the joy of a new arrival and the tears and sadness of our family and friends who have gone home Heaven to wait for us. Many times we never take time to celebrate what is really important but that is what this celebration is about. You are so many things……..you are…first….a daughter or a son…a sister or a brother…an aunt or an uncle…a mother and a father…..a grandma and a grandpa….a great grandma and great grandpa….a friend and a prayer warrior for all those around you. You see you two are all these things and so much more. But out of all the things that you are…the most important is that you are LOVED.
Dad, its hard to believe that towards the end of this month you will be turning 80 years old. What an accomplishment! You have seen and been through so many things in these 80 years. More than many of us will ever see or do. Lets do a very brief recap…shall we?
In an effort to get our family out in the great outdoors…..we went on our first initial camping trip to Camp Swatara and the first thing you did was sprain your ankle by stepping in a gopher hole as we walked around the lake. But have no fear that didn’t stop us each and everytime we went something else happened…like the camper flooded, we were stalked by a mallard duck…you never put the wheel on the hitch up before we left the campground…everyone heard us leaving that day… That must be why we started camping with the Shompers…we needed somebody to keep us in line….
You kept your nieces (when they were young whipper snappers) on the up and up while they were in the back of your car on the way up to the cabin. Uh hmmm…Enough said.
You know how to really sport some really cool head gear…we’ll see more on that a little later
You were able to fly through a locked screen door when running to a fire call when you ran with the fire department.
You really got in touch with your “nature “ side last year when you told the guy in lowes that your lawn mower …um…looks like a ……you know a butterfly. He may have looked at you like you were crazy…but we all know better.
No one else on earth knows how to announce your arrival to Shady Maple Camp any louder or clearer than when you set off the alarm system that echos throughout the entire mountain range.
You really are a quick learner….I mean mom shouldn’t have to wrap you up in the vacuum cleaner cord and trip you ever again.
On a more sentimental note…you are the best pinochle partner a gal could ever have… J. And yes we do have to let them win sometimes or they get cranky.
Well you know what they say…birds of a feather flock together….
Cause mom …look at all you have seen and done in the last 40 years that you have been together….
You like to trip a lot…not like a vacation…like to trip. Umm like tripping and stumbling in the door of the dollar general store while you were with Sara years ago….skinning both your knees while walking down the street with me when I was like 8 years old…oh an don’t forget tripping on my back deck and flailing around like a turtle on its shell that can’t get up.
You have a vocabulary all your own….. do …tock of flurkeys or cheese putzes ring a bell?
You are the only person I know who would go through the Burger King drive thru and order a Frosty and then back all the way out of the drive thru because the lady on the intercom was kind enough to tell you ”Ma’am we don’t have Frosty’s”. I bet she is still wondering where you got to cause you never came through the line…….
Some here today may say you are an instigator. I am not sure where they would get that idea…I am sure it would have nothing to do with …..
***you scaring the pants off aunt joan years ago when you two were on the Mississippi Queen….”Hey Lady” has gotten a lot of usage since then.
Or lets see…I am sure you never have run up to anyone in our family and yelled “touched you last” and then quickly darted the other way.
All kidding aside…..
We want you both to know that you are treasured. For the little things as well as the big things. I personally want to thank the both of you, now, for the sacrifices you made for me. I know I never may have come out and thanked you…but know , they have never go unnoticed, and unappreciated. Thank you for providing a home with a roof over my head and food on the table. Thank you for bandaging me up when I had bumps and bruises, thank you for praying me home on the nights that I would be out boots scootin’ till all hours of the night, thank you for just being there and holding mine and Shannons hand in a hospital room on Thanksgiving Day 6 years ago.

God is so good…for he has blessed our whole family with you both in our lives. No words could ever truly convey how grateful we are to you for the precious times, the precious memories and the love and prayers that you have showered all of us with.
I have a picture that says Home is where your story begins and its so true…because for me Home began with the two of you.

All my love, Julie