Monday, January 24, 2011

Which way to go?

I began this year, by asking God to help me Fear-Less this year. Indeed He has not wasted any time in trying to get me to live outside of my box. My hubby and I began this year by making a promise to God and to each other that this year we would be unafraid. Unafraid in getting to know Him in a more intimate way...unafraid of sharing Him with others...and unafraid of giving everything over to Him.

About four months ago, I did one of the hardest things I have had to do in a long time. After 8 years of being our church's youth leaders, my hubby and I stepped down. We stepped down from something that was familiar, something we had fun doing, and something that I didn't want to let go of. I felt like I lost my identity.

I have felt the nudge for quite sometime, but I was too afraid to give it away. So I clung to it in hopes that I could make it better...that these feelings would pass and a giant doorway would open up and God's voice would tell me "You are right where you need to be". I held on for over a year and there was no giant doorway that opened up and no loud boisterous voice from the heavens that told me I was going in the right direction. The youth in our church had been dwindling down. Sports and drama teams seemed to win out over youth events and fellowship. Parents seemed to want to depend on us to instill certain priorities in their children, but yet, the parents themselves could not make commitments. We struggled....we cried ....and then I knew...we had to step down. We wrestled and prayed over our decision because we knew that in our primarily older congregation no one else would step up and it would fall on the shoulders of our part-time pastor. After much soul searching, we did step down and the pastor stepped up. I am sad to say that the youth attendence still has not increased, despite many prayers.

I am at peace with that decision...I really feel like it was the one that God wanted us to make. However, now we struggle with where we fit in. When we took over the youth we were in our late 20's and early 30's. We were hip, we were cool. Now almost 9 years later we find that there are not many other people in our church our age. Most are over the age of 70 which I love because there is so much to learn from them. But if I am being honest at times its hard because they do not want anything to change. They want things to remain the same as they were 30 years ago and honestly, our church is not growing and they are not reaching out and it saddens me. Everything that comes in is hoarded...and therefore it all becomes stale.

I say all this as a plea for prayer as my hubby and I try to discern where the Lord is leading us next. We want to be obedient to Him and what He wants us to do. We also don't want to make any decisions based on our feelings or emotions.

In the meantime, we wait patiently...we pray fervently and we praise Him in all things.

287. making better choices
288. snow covered fields
289. lazy Sundays
290. accountability
291. the smell of fresh laundry
292. the need of a friend that was met
293. memories captured in a frame
294. a homemade meal
295. a local community coming together after tragedy

8 comments:

Annesta said...

Julie,
I feel your angst and I will pray with you and your husband that God will give you peace and a direction on where to step next.
Blessings
~a

Lyla Lindquist said...

Faithful one, praying for His continued direction. (It's nothing new, right? He's brought you along this far...)

Jennifer said...

Hoarded and stale--that image is just so sad. Keep listening. He will not abandon you though He may be silent so you will learn to wait on Him.

Kate {The Parchment Girl} said...

I prayed for you just now, that God will give you and your husband direction.

Your goal of fearing less this year is so bold. I have the same goal, though I think it's going to take time to conquer some deep-seeded fear.

Bev Brandon @ The Fray said...

Thank you Julie, nice to see you! I have on a necklace that is engraved "fearlessness" - Phil 1:20 Moffat version---you have fearless courage---that's what comes across in your last two posts. Love, Bev

Cora from Hidden Riches said...

I was so moved by your post today! Fear comes in many ways, with two sides -- the fear to do, and the fear NOT to do. The fear to continue, the fear to quit. I so understand. And the part about getting older??? How does that happen?! I was just in my 30's and here I am now, in my 60's. I'm the "old ones" I used to talk about. I'm the one with the "old" ideas, who loves the "old" songs, and the "quaint" things. I, too, am looking for a new thing in a new place, trying to find that niche where my gifts and me fit. God knows us better than we know ourselves, that I know. And when I pray for me, I'll be remembering YOU and praying for you, too! I tend to be fearful, not one to step out of my comfort zone, so it will take a big nudge!!!! I know He has great things for us both!!!!

Cora from Hidden Riches said...

I was so moved by your post today! Fear comes in many ways, with two sides -- the fear to do, and the fear NOT to do. The fear to continue, the fear to quit. I so understand. And the part about getting older??? How does that happen?! I was just in my 30's and here I am now, in my 60's. I'm the "old ones" I used to talk about. I'm the one with the "old" ideas, who loves the "old" songs, and the "quaint" things. I, too, am looking for a new thing in a new place, trying to find that niche where my gifts and me fit. God knows us better than we know ourselves, that I know. And when I pray for me, I'll be remembering YOU and praying for you, too! I tend to be fearful, not one to step out of my comfort zone, so it will take a big nudge!!!! I know He has great things for us both!!!!

Kate {The Parchment Girl} said...

I prayed for you just now, that God will give you and your husband direction.

Your goal of fearing less this year is so bold. I have the same goal, though I think it's going to take time to conquer some deep-seeded fear.